U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS >POLITICS > OBAMA WILL TRY TO GET EVERYONE A JOB BY ELECTION DAY
OBAMA WILL TRY TO GET EVERYONE A JOB BY ELECTION DAY
December 11 2011
Washington, D.C. – There are lots of things wrong with the United States right now and none of those are going to be fixed anytime soon. The seed of those problems date back decades, and the ultimate solution may be a decade or more in the future, but right now one man is tasked with trying to not only solve those problems but to also salve the hurt being felt by so many people.
It hasn’t been going so well.
Suffering from some of the lowest polling number if history, Barack Obama is in tough going into the election year and things don’t appear to be getting any better. Unemployment is high, debt is climbing, and political opponents are doing everything they can to make sure that voters know how bad things really are. Obama, of course, has a different view of things, a far more positive one and has started to promise that the economy will improve, that jobs will be coming back and that by Election Day mostly everyone in the country will have a job and never again have to worry about money or anything else.
“The President said eight percent, but that’s a low ball number. We all want people to be surprised with the unemployment rate once we get there. We are actually looking at less than two percent. Heck, everyone in the country might have a job by Election Day, a good job. It’s happening and people are going to be surprised,” said a White House insider. “The President wouldn’t say anything he couldn’t deliver on. There are going to be obstacles, primarily on the Republican side, but we feel like the job issue just won’t be an issue by the time voters go to the booths and pull those levers.”
Levers have not been a part of voting booths for more than a decade, which of course put many lever makers out of work.
“The real challenge will be with the Republicans trying to take away jobs. It has been an old gag with them, something that will likely only increase going forward. They encourage conservative employers to cut payroll which kills jobs and puts them in a better position, They get into office, they ask their people to turn on the taps and overnight employment numbers jump. Good for them, bad for the President,” continued the insider. “That is going to make it impossible to get to zero, that kind of interference but we can still get it really low, like really low. Almost impossibly low and exactly at the right time.”
Republicans have long denied trying to kill jobs for political purposes, but that is exactly what one would expect they would do.
It’s not clear if a 2 percent unemployment rate would secure Obama an election victory.
“We want to win and we want people to have jobs so this is the perfect plan. Not only will ordinary people still have jobs but so will the President, and us of course. People have to realize that there are a lot of people that work for the President and we would all be out of jobs if he is voted out and they have to think about that,” continued the insider. “It’ll be better next year but a lot of us are really scared about going out there into the job market. It’s really rough and no one wants to deal with it. We like it where we are and no one wants to leave.”
Obama has also promised cookies for voters come election time, which will no doubt please cookie makers.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > OBAMA WILL TRY TO GET EVERYONE A JOB BY ELECTION DAY
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Politics/pages-4/Obama-will-try-to-get-everyone-a-job-by-election-day-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side-2011-12-11.html |
TWEET IT! http://goo.gl/y0hWn |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
