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NEWS >POLITICS > PRESIDENT LEFT SPEECHLESS OVER THEFT OF SEAL, TELEPROMPTERS
PRESIDENT LEFT SPEECHLESS OVER THEFT OF SEAL, TELEPROMPTERS
October 18 2011
Henrico, VA – Vehicle theft is nothing new, but one would expect that a truck containing the official seal of the President and $200,000 worth of equipment would be a little better protected than the average vehicle. Apparently not.
The U.S. Department of Defense has started a investigation into a theft of a truck containing teleprompters and other audio gear that had been following the President, with early indications that it was a bunch of thieves who had no idea what they were getting. Still, some have speculated that the theft could indeed have been undertaken by members of the Republican Party so confident that whatever candidate they field will be elected, and they just want to get a head start on getting things settled.
“No classified or sensitive information was in the vehicle. We take incidents such as this very seriously and a formal investigation is continuing,” said a spokesperson for Defense Information Systems Agency.
The equipment was quickly replaced and the President’s speech went off without any other issues.
“We have been told that they believe it was a crime of opportunity, a lousy opportunity as it turns it, but nothing more than a group car thieves who got more than they bargained for,” said a White House insider. “Of course that leads to the question as to how the truck wasn’t guarded, which to some of us indicates that there may have been an insider who made it happen. And the only people who would even be motivated to do something like that are the Republicans.”
It’s not clear how many car thieves the Republican Party officially employs, though it’s believed that because of the high profile of this theft if they were behind the incident that outsiders would have been hired and killed later.
“They want the White House and they will do whatever they can to make that happen, even embarrass the President. Luckily that didn’t happen here,” continued the insider. “If they want access to this equipment they are going to have to do it the old fashioned way, by winning the election, not through stealing trucks.”
There is no evidence that the Republican Party was involved in any capacity, though many wouldn’t put it past them.
“People have certainly tried to steal elections in the past, but stealing Presidencies one piece at a time is something else entirely and something, frankly, even the Republicans likely wouldn’t do, especially not with the poll numbers the way they are. I mean Nixon is dead, right,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “It’s just not time to do something this desperate, really. I would imagine that the gear will show up. Heck, they may even have just misplaced the truck. That happens. They may even have misplaced it at Republican Headquarters, but I guess we will have to see about that.”
The President was apparently left speechless by the theft.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > PRESIDENT LEFT SPEECHLESS OVER THEFT OF SEAL, TELEPROMPTERS
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