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NEWS >POLITICS > RUMOURS SUGGEST RICK PERRY MAY SELECT GOD AS VICE-PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE
RUMOURS SUGGEST RICK PERRY MAY SELECT GOD AS VICE-PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE
August 16 2011
Austin, TX – This is about the time in every election cycle when things start to get real interesting. In a few short months the rhetoric will be overflowing and candidates will rise and fall, and right now is when they start to make their moves. A year or so out is the real prologue for chaos of the election of the next President.
Already some major players have stepped forward and declared themselves ready for a run. Inevitably most of them will be gone a year from now, throwing in their support for a competitor with a grimace, but right now everyone thinks they have a chance. One of those who may indeed have a real chance is Texas Governor Rick Perry especially if he is able to secure his dream running mate.
That running mate is, apparently, God. Not some symbol, not some person who calls himself God but the Lord Himself, the Almighty. While few expect such a thing to happen, for the Creator to take second seat, it’s believed that if Perry were able to secure himself such a partner he may also secure himself a win come November.
“It’s an idea. There are a number of possible candidates out there but He is one of them. Rick really likes the idea of bringing Him into the race. He feels not only that it would help him secure victory, but it would also be a really great working relationship 
and that is just as important,” said a Perry insider. “Obviously he needs to win the nomination first but he feels that by even putting this out there it will go a long way towards making that happen. Whether or not he secures Him as a running mate, just the possibility has to be a tantalizing one for Republicans.”
It’s believed by outsiders to be very unlikely that such a thing could or would happen.
“Rick really believes he is in commune with the Lord, he feels they have a special relationship and that God wants him to run for President. Given that, it’s only natural to assume that He would want to do everything he could to make sure Rick wins and by running alongside him he would certainly be helping a lot,” continued the insider. “There is some concern that the Almighty would not be eligible because of his place of birth, but I think given the fact that he is the Creator of everything most people would forgive that. I mean no one knows that God wasn’t born in the U.S. right?”
According to most belief systems, God was around a lot longer than the U.S.
“It’s a bold move to be sure, but I guess the real issue would be whether or not God
would even be interested in taking the job. It’s not a particularly glorious job and doesn’t really have a lot of power. It would certainly do a lot for the campaign, there is no debate on that, but I can’t really see why God Himself would want to job,” said Scrape TV Religion analyst Bertram Gas. “I can’t see the Almighty wanting to be on campaign trail, slugging it out with Joe Biden in debates and things like that. It seems like He is a little above that, but I guess if he really does want Perry to win he might have to make the sacrifice. You would also have to concerned as to whether or not He would get a little restless in the gig, being the beginning and end and all.”
Fellow Republican candidate Michele Bachmann is apparently considering her dog, Ralphie, as a potential running mate. Apparently he is very good with constitutional law and peeing outside.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > RUMOURS SUGGEST RICK PERRY MAY SELECT GOD AS VICE-PRESIDENTIAL RUNNING MATE
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