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NEWS >POLITICS > CANNIBAL COMMUNISTS RUNNING AMOK IN REPUBLICAN PARTY
CANNIBAL COMMUNISTS RUNNING AMOK IN REPUBLICAN PARTY
January 28 2012
Wasilla, AK – Politics is, at its core, about fighting. While there are grand ideas driving politics, no doubt, and a great deal of importance in the outcome of most political battles, more often than not politics becomes little more than a formalized version of the schoolyard brawl, a battle for the sake of battle, a winner for the sake of winning.
Right now the Republican Party is the midst of perhaps one of the greatest battles of its existence. It isn’t the obvious one, the fight against the Democrats, but rather an internal battle about the future of the Party itself. All the fussing and feuding over who will be the next Republican candidate for President is really just an expression of the conflict inside the heart of the Party, and like most battles the resolution is not even close to being clear right now.
In a changing world, in a changing America, the soul of America’s natural political party is being tested, and now it appears by a much more ominous threat than anyone could have imagined. The Party, it appears, is now infected with Communist Cannibals inside its own ranks, eating it from the inside out both literally and philosophically, at least according to Sarah Palin.
“But this whole thing isn’t really about Newt Gingrich vs. Mitt Romney. It is about the GOP establishment vs. the Tea Party grassroots and independent Americans who are sick of the politics of personal destruction used now by both parties’ operatives with a complicit media egging it on,” Palin wrote on her blog, amongst other things partially crazy.
Palin did not address specifics of cannibalism, though Communists did of course come up in the diatribe. It’s not clear if Palin herself has been victim of, or at least witnessed, the acts committed by the se cannibals.
Thus far, no one else from the Republican establishment has expressed concerns about flesh eating Party members, though it is likely that anyone who would speak on such a thing would themselves be eaten, leading to a reticence.
“I doubt very much that there are any real cannibals at work inside the Republican Party itself. It is very possible that they are outsiders somehow affiliated with the Party. You never know with Conservatives, but cannibalism is a little extreme even for them,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “The Communist thing is a little extreme as well. There isn’t much of the Left in the Republican Party as a whole, particularly not now. One could argue that it is in fact much more right wing than ever, though probably not with Sarah Palin. That would be like arguing with a loaf of bread, which of course can be eaten with impunity.”
It is not clear if Palin has done anything other than blog about cannibals, perhaps fearing their sharp teeth and ravenous hunger could consume her as well.
“Eventually all politics boils down to an argument. The issues fade away and all that matters is who wins, regardless of who’s right. That’s the way schoolyard brawls are and it’s the way adult brawls go as well, usually, though this eating of human flesh is something else entirely and if true, a little disturbing,” continued Kinsey. “Hopefully this is not true and just a tale Republicans tell their children to turn them into good conservatives, that would be the best situation for all. At the very least I hope that these current candidates are not a part of that group. That last thing anyone wants is a cannibal President and you never really can be sure about those Mormons.”
Officially, cannibalism is not part of the Mormon religion. Officially.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > CANNIBAL COMMUNISTS RUNNING AMOK IN REPUBLICAN PARTY
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