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NEWS >POLITICS > SANTORUM SUCCESS IN IOWA SHOWS AMERICANS FINALLY READY FOR THE RELIGIOUS LOON THEY’VE ALWAYS WANTED
SANTORUM SUCCESS IN IOWA SHOWS AMERICANS FINALLY READY FOR THE RELIGIOUS LOON THEY’VE ALWAYS WANTED
January 4 2012
Des Moines, IA – All is quiet in the hours following the first primary election of the 2012 season, but of course it won’t stay that way for long. Some stories are playing out as predicted, things like Michele Bachmann pulling out of the race, Ron Paul having surprising success in one state, and Newt Gingrich quickly sidling his way to the margins. However one story, that of Rick Santorum, has surprised just about everyone.
Coming just eight votes behind perennial front runner, and winner, Mitt Romney Rick Santorum shocked just about everyone, especially since the success came just a few weeks after he had been more or less written off. Now Santorum is a major player in the race and may prove to be the candidate the Republican base has wanted, not Romney.
Wherever Santorum goes from here, it is clear that his style and political philosophy have started to speak to the American people. And while that is far from winning the White House, it does show that America is steadily moving towards the type of nation that will vote a radical right wing religious loon into the most powerful position on planet, the kind of nation so many have wanted for a long time.
“Thank you so much, Iowa, for standing up and not compromising, by standing up and being bold. You have taken the first step toward taking back this country,” said Santorum following his near victory. “God has given us this great country to allow his people to be free. I offer a public thanks to God.”
After the election, Santorum and his family went to a local abortion clinic and shamed the women entering before moving onto Denny’s for an early breakfast.
Santorum, it is believed, is now starting to believe his own rhetoric and will likely become even bolder in next week’s New Hampshire primary.
“It’s a shock, to be sure. I don’t think anyone would have predicted this even last week. There had been some talk of a late surge but third place was about the most reasonable people had put Santorum at, which I guess displays how unreasonable this whole things and how unreasonable the voters have become,” said Scrape TV Political analyst Gabriel Kinsey. “That kind of lack of reason and sense is exactly what someone like Santorum needs to find victory. He needs a lot more people to totally lose their minds and indulge in wacky religious iconography, but Iowa is a good start. Not only is an indicator of things to come, it will also act as inspiration.”
It’s not clear how many religious zealots make up the Republican membership in New Hampshire, but the following election in South Carolina will likely be much more competitive.
“Normally, I mean even in the Reagan era of fundamentalist religious voting, no one would want to vote for a person who used his own miscarried fetus as life lesson for his children, but that just shows how much the country has changed, for good or bad,” continued Kinsey. “I doubt Santorum can win the big office, but he is laying the groundwork either for 2016 or for some other religious nut in the future that will do away with all the evils of modern America like taxes, unemployment, abortion, and science, God willing of course.”
Santorum will rest up at one of the many homes he lists as his legal residences before moving onto New Hampshire.
Edward Bastil, Political Correspondent
NEWS >POLITICS > SANTORUM SUCCESS IN IOWA SHOWS AMERICANS FINALLY READY FOR THE RELIGIOUS LOON THEY’VE ALWAYS WANTED
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