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NEWS > SCIENCE > ‘WIMP’ STEPHEN HAWKING AFRAID OF ALIENS
‘WIMP’ STEPHEN HAWKING AFRAID OF ALIENS
April 26 2010
Pasadena, CA – The Universe is more massive than anything we can imagine. One light year is equivalent to travelling around the equator 250 million times, and there stars billions of light years away. Here in our little corner of a tiny building somewhere 
in the massive city that is the Universe we have done remarkable things and thus far proven to be the only living things in the existence. While logic, and dreams, suggest that other life exists in plenty throughout the universe we have not been able to garner even hints of evidence proving it to be true.
Science Fiction has of course taken care of much of that dreaming, creating aliens both benign and malevolent inhabiting the solar systems beyond our own. Science too has pursued the dream of extraterrestrial life and tantalizing hints on bodies such as Mars and Europa have given even those sceptics hope that we are not alone. However one of the most revered scientific minds that has ever lived, 
Stephen Hawking, is not one of those people waiting for an opportunity to speak with E.T. and has actually stated the opposite, warning the people of Earth that any contact with aliens could result in disaster for humanity. While such fear mongering may fall on many deaf ears for those who listened, it sounded more like the ramblings of a wussy rather than a revered scientist.
“To my mathematical brain, the numbers alone make thinking about aliens perfectly rational. The real challenge is to work out what aliens might actually be like. We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet,” Hawking stated in a long awaited documentary series. “I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach. If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn’t turn out very well for the Native Americans.”
Hawking’s documentary has been in the works for three years and highlights the longstanding cowardliness many colleagues have associated with the physicist.
“The issue of whether or not alien life exists is something we will solve in very short 
order I believe. Expeditions to Mars, Europa, and Io will tell us whether or not the basic building blocks of life have been spread widely across the universe and not just a lucky shot on this planet. Intelligent life, life like us is a totally different issue however and can only be speculative,” said Dr. Walt Becker of USC Berkeley. “We could have Vulcans and we could have Romulans, we simply don’t know and can only speculate. Saying that we shouldn’t reach out because of potential risks is just foolhardy and unscientific, frankly, and speaks to the person Hawking really is. Our job is to be ready for any comers. The native people of the America’s had no idea that the European’s intentions could be hostile, and subsequently they lost. If we are well prepared we will be able to fight any alien menace, with or without the help of Professor Hawking.”
Most scientists are advocating the creation of giant laser guns and space borne defensive systems that could devastate any on comers.
“It really is a defeatist attitude to think that we would be under the sword of a malevolent alien force. We have formidable weaponry already and as we move along we will become more and more sophisticated meaning that a kind of ‘Independence Day’ scenario is very unlikely and if it does happen, well we won there too,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “Hawking is naturally very concerned. Obviously if they come in his lifetime there isn’t much he will be able to do. His chair only goes so fast and so it would be very difficult for him to outrun alien lasers or whatever it is they have. That doesn’t mean the rest of us should be scared; it just means that we have to be prepared.”
Hawking was unavailable for comment after apparently spotting a really large spider.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
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