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NEWS > SCIENCE > EARTH-LIKE PLANET DISCOVERED; ATTACK PLANS ALREADY UNDER WAY
EARTH-LIKE PLANET DISCOVERED; ATTACK PLANS ALREADY UNDER WAY
October 1 2010
Santa Cruz, CA – The history of conquest is not one of which many people would claim to be proud. The hard reality of the discovery of new lands is that it often results in death, misery, and sometimes outright genocide. While conquerors have
carried with them such noble devices as aqueducts and democracy, they have also brought things like smallpox and mass murder. While that has changed somewhat in the modern age, our short history on the planet has proven that it not only may happen again, but likely will.
Of course most of the territory on our own planet has already been conquered and the rest of the solar system is absent of major life forms making them limited targets. Now however researchers have discovered an earth-like planet in a relatively nearby solar system, a planet that may in fact not only support human-like life but also likely to provide an abundance of land and natural resources. That discovery has prompted a sudden surge in military financing from some of the world’s wealthiest nations, ostensibly to provide defence against a potentially hostile species, but more than likely will be used as an invasion force to conquer our nearest galactic neighbour.
“Our findings offer a very compelling case for a potentially habitable planet. The fact 
that we were able to detect this planet so quickly and so nearby tells us that planets
like this must be really common. This planet exists in exactly the right area of space to provide for life, just close enough to its star and not too far away. We had planets on both sides of the habitable zone – one too hot and one too cold – and now we have one in the middle that’s just right,” said Steven Vogt of the University of California, Santa Cruz. “Any emerging life forms would have a wide range of stable climates to choose from and to evolve around, depending on their longitude The number of systems with potentially habitable planets is probably on the order of 10 or 20 percent, and when you multiply that by the hundreds of billions of stars in the Milky Way, that's a large number. There could be tens of billions of these systems in our galaxy.” 
It’s those numbers that have government and military officials most concerned, as well as the Goldilocks reference which has some concerned that bears may be coming home.
“We have no way of knowing whether or not other life forms exist on this or other planets but there is a deep concern that any advanced species would likely be as aggressive as we have been in our past and that leaves us with no choice but invasion,” said one U.S. military official. “The technical and financial limitations are huge but they were no less daunting to Columbus and look how that turned out. If he had not aggressively moved towards the Americas and brought European weapons and disease we could all be speaking Navajo right now. We have learned history’s lessons well and we will not repeat them.”
It is not believed that native tribes in the Americas, even large cultures like the Inca and Maya, had any desire to conquer Europe.
“The reality of space travel is that it is boring. We are surrounded by empty houses that people have been studying from the time they were children and that doesn’t lend itself to a great deal of enthusiasm. An aggressive alien species is maybe exactly what we need to get people excited about space again,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “There is also the practical need. These beings could be docile and even pleasant but they could also have lost their version of World War II and have an alien Hitler in charge. The best defence is often a good offence, a hard but honest truth.”
It is not clear if the aliens have discovered us yet.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
NEWS > SCIENCE > EARTH-LIKE PLANET DISCOVERED; ATTACK PLANS ALREADY UNDER WAY
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