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NEWS > SCIENCE > KENYA LITERALLY RESURRECTING THE DEAD
KENYA LITERALLY RESURRECTING THE DEAD
August 12 2010
Kisumu, Kenya – There is perhaps no part of the human experience that defines us more than death. Death is a frame for our life, we come in from nothing and exit to nothing but death affects our lives even as we live them. Simple things like sidewalks
and stop signs are ways that we protect ourselves from entering the great beyond. Everywhere we look there are examples of how the fear of death impacts our lives, examples of death defines our lives even as we live them.
That is perhaps most clearly seen in our efforts to stave off the inevitable. Curing disease and extending our days has long been a pursuit of science and medicine and though we have made remarkable strides in recent years we are still a long way off from the dream. Living forever is perhaps not a reasonable goal but extending our lifespan by significant amounts is not only rational, many scientists believe it is within our reach with future generations possibly living for two or three hundred years. However that is not the reality in today’s world which leaves all of us dealing not only with our own deaths but the deaths of our loved ones, except in Kenya where scientists have developed new technology that will return the recently deceased to the land of the living, sort of.
“I've always had this focus of helping those individuals who are less fortunate than me ... underserved populations. Our number of patients could at least double and we would be able to expand our service area. The tide is definitely turning. We are literally resurrecting the dead,” said Dr. Craig Cohen whose clinic has begun the first human resurrection trials. “This will save not only villages but also nations. Countries throughout Africa have been suffering tremendously from this disease and have been in danger of collapsing entirely, but now we can reverse that trend and turn certain death into an opportunity for life.”
It’s not clear how people not killed by AIDS will be affected by the new treatment.
“This is really an astonishing breakthrough that could change the course of human history. For as long as we have been conscious, we have wondered what lies beyond the grave but now we can be confident that beyond that veil lies more life. There are serious issues that need to be addressed, particularly the whole brain eating thing, but if those are addressed adequately we may have crossed a threshold,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “This effectively puts an end to religion as well which is going to cause a lot of stress for a lot of people but ultimately will be a good thing. People always get upset when new things come around but it’s only these types of paradigm shifts that help push human society forward. We will lose a lot but if history is any indicator the upside will be tremendous.”
Other more practical issues such as parking have not yet been addressed.
“The people who are really going to be hurt are the companies that create the drugs that keep us alive. I mean if you are ultimately going to be resurrected then there will be not motivation to take things like heart medication. It’s really just a waste of money, money that could be better spent on McDonald’s and beer,” continued Poe. “That kind of excess could strangle social development and possibly put us back into the Stone Age but that’s only the downside. You can’t pervert development because bad things might happen, that’s how society stagnates. Who would have believed that the future of humanity would have come from the slums of Kenya?”
There were reports of organized moaning and occasional screams from the city but no witnesses came forward to corroborate those reports.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
NEWS > SCIENCE > KENYA LITERALLY RESURRECTING THE DEAD
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