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NEWS > SCIENCE > SCIENTISTS LOOKING FOR WAY TO REPLICATE WEALTHY HORMONE AND QUIT THEIR JOBS
SCIENTISTS LOOKING FOR WAY TO REPLICATE WEALTHY HORMONE AND QUIT THEIR JOBS
October 23 2010
London, U.K. – Even before money existed the lust for wealth was a pursuit. Whether it was born from the hoarding of limited resources or the desire to push others out of one’s territory, greed has existed for as long as mankind has been 
organized. Like many of our natural expressions, greed can of course cause a great deal of trouble for people, especially those who stand on the outside looking in. For those who have things – money, cars, women – there is little trouble with greed, because it has been so successful for them.
Greed is of course an essential component of wealth. It not only allows people to acquire a great deal of money and things, it allows them to keep those things and build upon them. Without greed there would be no wealth, and now researchers believe they have found the biological imperative that drives people into the arms of their mistress of wealth. Researchers at University College London have determined that the hormone dehydroepiandrosterone sulphate (DHEAS), present in a very small segment of the population, allows for longer life and incredible wealth. While the details of the hormone would certainly be of great benefit to the world at large, the researchers are planning on keeping it all to themselves and take an early retirement.
“This is a striking new finding is that the hormone dehydroepiandrosterone sulfate [DHEAS] that predicts life expectancy also follows a social gradient: less wealth, lower
levels of DHEAS. This describes and incredible difference in the classes, something that has long been speculated but never defined in a scientific realm. Now though we have clear evidence of profound differences between classes,” Professor Sir Michael Marmot. “This discovery makes it very clear that the wealthy are indeed superior in many ways to the poor and indigent and that this perceived snobbery that has existed for so long is actually genetic in origin and thus does not fall into the realm of morality or ethics. It is an obligation, a biological imperative, something of which we expect to take full advantage.”
Marmot is currently 65 and well off, though not inordinately wealthy.
“This is certainly an interesting development that could potentially change the way in 
which class relations are decided. There has long been this struggle between the wealthy and the poor with the latter constantly trying to get a fair shake. Now it’s clear that they never really had a chance, that there is a reason the wealthy are better,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “This ongoing struggle between the have and have-nots actually has a scientific explanation, who knew? Ultimately this will not alter the status quo because there is simply no way for the wealthy to remain wealthy if there are no poor people. It will mean that certain wealthy individuals will become even wealthier and the class struggle will continue.”
The researchers are apparently working hard to keep the hormone out of Africa.
“The other side to this is the extended life. I guess that makes sense because these people need all that extra time to spend all that money, even if they don’t actually do it. It’s very interesting to see the way in which nature takes a role in socioeconomics, something one would think was solely a human endeavour,” continued Poe. “Hopefully this information will leak. I could certainly use a little extra dough. It makes sense though that they would want to keep it to themselves. I mean if I found the secret to long life and great wealth there’s a good chance that I would keep it to myself. I hate to admit that but it’s true.”
The researchers apparently plan to sell the secret to wealthy individuals, thereby increasing their own net worth.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
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