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EVEN ASTRONAUTS CAN’T BE BOTHERED WITH FINAL SHUTTLE LAUNCH
July 8 2011
Cape Canaveral, FL – When the shuttle program first began everyone had the highest hopes. For NASA, the government, and the public, the program was the first stage to a real move into space, the closest thing to ‘Star Trek’ that human beings 
had ever accomplished. It was going to be a part of a bold new future that would lead to us eventually exploring our solar system and the stars beyond, at least in the long term. There was nothing but upside.
Things didn’t exactly work out all that well. The program had cost overruns from the beginning and the vessels themselves were less than reliable. Aside from the two disasters, the shuttles required major maintenance and upkeep which only added to the ever expanding costs of the program. Eventually it became clear that the deficits of the program had started to far outweigh the benefits, consuming money and resources that could have been used in other areas. The idea of the reusable space vessel, noble as it might have been, proved to be a white elephant for NASA and the government. It was inevitable, in the light of the relative failure of the program, that things had to change and that the shuttle program had to end. On Friday, all that will end as the shuttle Atlantis makes its final flight, a trip that even astronauts were a little hesitant to make, prompting NASA to reduce the size of the crew for the final trip.
“Normally there would be six or seven people on the flight but it is only four on Atlantis. The official reason for that is that in case of disaster it would be much easier to transport four people to Earth rather than seven, but that isn’t really the truth,” 
said a NASA insider. “No one wants to make the trip. They had enough trouble getting people to go up on the shuttles after the disasters but now, now the astronauts are as bored as the public is with the shuttle. They had real trouble scraping together even the four who are going.”
In situation where a major disaster occurred, the Russian Soyuz spacecraft would be used as a rescue craft. The Soyuz only seats three.
“We have never had a major mechanical failure that left the crew stranded. Obviously things have gotten a little more explosive than that in the past. If something does go wrong the only thing this really does is preserve more of the astronaut corps, which may not be a good thing really. We don’t have much for them to do right now,” continued the insider. “Most of the guys and girls are on vacation. One said he would take the flight if they could arrange it around his daughter’s ballet recital but they wouldn’t shift the date so he isn’t going. Even the people who are going aren’t all that excited, to be blunt, but they are getting a little extra on their paycheque so they are willing to put up with it.”
Atlantis will dock with the ISS and do stuff.
“It really was a great idea, a great dream they had with the program but it really 
hasn’t worked out all that well. They’ve made the best of it and done some great things, like Hubble and the ISS, but if it had worked to plan we would be in a much different spot now,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “We wouldn’t be warping around the galaxy or anything but we would be much further along. The shuttle program sapped money out of NASA and became this huge burden which ultimately limited further exploration. Plus, it’s kind of boring. It hasn’t engaged the public or, apparently, the people who actually fly into space. That doesn’t help either.”
If Atlantis lands it will be placed in a museum somewhere or something.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
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