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NEWS > SCIENCE > KARDASHIAN FAMILY DENIES KHLOE IS THE RESULT OF AFFAIR WITH BIGFOOT
KARDASHIAN FAMILY DENIES KHLOE IS THE RESULT OF AFFAIR WITH BIGFOOT
January 11 2012
Los Angeles, CA – Though they may seem like they were created in some lab somewhere, perhaps even spawned by celebrity itself, somehow brought to life by or incessant obsession with famous people, the Kardashian kids are in fact born of flesh and blood, real people who are physically like everyone else on the planet, well for the most part.
Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe have become, in their flesh and blood embodiment, a media sensation like anything else in history. Famous, very famous, and wealthy for no real reason that anyone can ascertain. In fact, it is that itself, that celebrity, which seems to be the most compelling part of them and their lives, and that has made them millionaires many times over.
Controversy has followed as it does with celebrities, in fact it was scandal, a sex tape, that birthed the entire Kardashian movement in the first place, but now a new and persistent rumour has arisen and one that, if true, could throw the entire enterprise into chaos. See, Khloe might not be a Kardashian at all, despite denials from the family and insistence that she is not the product of an affair with a sasquatch or any other person or mythical being.
“It's totally untrue and the family is very hurt. Kris is fine with it, unfazed just like she is by so many things but still it’s caused a lot of stress and tension. Kim in particular is really upset by the whole thing and she just wants it to go away,” an insider close to the family told TMZ, in part. “Robert is Khloe’s father and they want everyone to know that. Robert Kardashian is the father of all the girls and anyone who says otherwise is just spreading rumours and lies.”
It has been rumoured that Khloe was the product of one of many affairs her mother Kris Jenner admitted to in a recent biography.
Jenner did not detail the specifics of those affairs, leaving open the possibility that she did in fact breed with a bigfoot or some other as-yet undiscovered zoological oddity.
“It’s hard to tell whether or not something like a Sasquatch would be able to breed with a human simply because we have never found one and we would need to do that to understand its biology. Sometimes interspecies breeding does occur but always within the same genus. We simply don’t know enough about Bigfoots to know where it sits in the animal kingdom,” said Scrape TV Zoology analyst Cambridge Walker. “We would need to know that before making any definitive assessment as to whether or not this Kardashian is a product of that relationship. If so, it would be a compelling medical story and one that could change human destiny forever.”
It’s not clear whether or not Jenner has kept in touch with the possible father, or whether or not Kardashian has met him.
“Human beings have been pretty much isolated in terms of DNA for thousands of years now and adding this new element into the equation could change the way we evolve, or at least the study of the way we evolve. It would also be great to get a chance to study the bigfoot, something which has never been done before,” continued Walker. “Getting definitive proof of the existence of these creatures would be a huge coup for the scientific community. It’s also great that Kardashian would be reunited with her real family. I’m sure that show would bring in great ratings, something I’m sure Jenner thought of long ago.”
Kardashian is currently living in Dallas with husband Lamar Odom, far from what is believed to be the natural habitat of the sasquatch in the forests of the West coast.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
NEWS > SCIENCE > KARDASHIAN FAMILY DENIES KHLOE IS THE RESULT OF AFFAIR WITH BIGFOOT
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