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NEWS > SCIENCE > NEW DATA SUGGESTS THAT JUGGALOS MAY BE FORMING UNIQUE SUBSPECIES
NEW DATA SUGGESTS THAT JUGGALOS MAY BE FORMING UNIQUE SUBSPECIES
December 10 2010
Washington, D.C. – Superficially, it would appear that human evolution has been at a standstill for a very long time. Our rise to our current state happened very quickly, in less than a million years, the bulk of which occurred in the last 70,000 or so. Such a 
time frame is just a moment in the lifespan of the planet and of other species that have lived died, and even many that live today. The crocodile for example has remained largely unchanged for 200 million years, well before mammals even walked the Earth.
People are certainly different now than we were two thousand years ago. We are taller, stronger, healthier, and live much longer lives. Those advances though are largely a result of things like better nutrition and advances in medical science, not an evolutionary step forward. Still, the lack of recent progress may or may not indicate anything. There are many mysteries to that process and it is not altogether clear whether life progresses slowly or leaps forward suddenly. With humans though the question may be moot. We are the first species on the planet that has the ability to alter our progression, to manipulate DNA and proactively impact our evolution. Now science has apparently witnessed such a change in progress with new data suggesting that a new human subspecies may be forming around Juggalos and their related culture.
“To be frank we hadn’t been watching this particular segment of the population very closely until recently but once we became aware of certain characteristics present, it became apparent that this was an important group to study,” said lead researcher Dr. Karl Beschfeld. “We have seen evolution in action in many circumstances but never in a human population. That makes this particular group of great scientific and biological interest not because of what they are creating, but because they are creating it. They appear to be forming a totally unique subspecies that is evolving alongside our own.”
Juggalos and Juggalettes are the names given to followers of the band Insane Clown Posse and related groups and cultural touchstones.
“There are a number of factors playing into this development. Interbreeding is of 
course a major part of that. These people only seem to be mating within their own group and they raise their children with the same ideas and philosophy. The bulk of their interactions are in that culture and their private activities revolve around the same ideas,” continued Beschfeld. “Normally this would just be a cultural movement, which is why it was deemed unworthy of study, but we have started to see actual biological and mental alterations. Real changes in the chemistry of these people suggesting that something is actually changing within them, though admittedly some of those changes are likely a result of extreme use of face paint and incessant drinking of Faygo, the latter of which has been shown to alter the physio -chemistry of lab animals.”
Around since 1907, the Faygo soft drink suffered rapid declines until the rise of the Juggalos.
“While it’s not yet clear where this line may be headed, and it is certainly possible that it will eventually be reintegrated into the normal human population, that fact that it formed at all shows that human beings are from done evolving and that there may be future advances awaiting us,” continued Beschfeld. “Of course such developments may require similar cultural closeness, but it is clear that nature is not done with us and that the facility that allowed us to stand upright and speak is still very much alive in us.”
Juggalos, by and large, have limited ability to form complete sentences even in laboratory settings.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
NEWS > SCIENCE > NEW DATA SUGGESTS THAT JUGGALOS MAY BE FORMING UNIQUE SUBSPECIES
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