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NEWS > SCIENCE > RESEARCH UNLOCKS THE SECRET SUPERPOWERS OF THE COCKROACH
RESEARCH UNLOCKS THE SECRET SUPERPOWERS OF THE COCKROACH
August 6 2011
Washington, D.C. – For decades it has long been assumed that the one creature which would survive the total destruction of the world, something unto itself which has only been possible recently, is the common cockroach. While that belief has come
to be almost a cliché, there is, like many clichés, some truth underlying the perception. The ability of cockroaches to endure almost any conditions and not only survive but also thrive is unlike any other species on the planet, outside perhaps viruses, making them actually very likely to thrive in a post-apocalyptic environment.
Now science has found a possible reason for the durability of the lowly roach, in the form of bacteria. Researchers at the University of Tucson have sequenced the genome of the roach and discovered the potential secret power of the roach, the influence of Blattabacterium which is present in all roaches. That bacteria, embedded in roaches while eggs are still developing, allows the roach to process waste products in extremely efficient ways, allowing the insect to eat just about anything and to go for long periods of time with little or no water. That in turn allows roaches to live in even the harshest of conditions perhaps surviving exactly the kind of apocalyptic event we joke about, a quality that may eventually allow them to rule over the planet with impunity.
“We have known about this bacteria for a number of years but in sequencing the genome we are finally able to understand exactly how it works, the mechanics of the 
process and how that influences the way in which the roach itself lives and is able to have such success,” said one researcher. “This bacteria is a case of mutually beneficial co-existence. Many insects use bacteria to synthesize nutrients they are unable to get from food, but none rely so heavily on any single species like we see here, and vice-versa. Neither the roach nor the bacteria would be able to survive without the other for very long. They have evolved to depend on each other.”
It’s believed unlikely that the bacteria could be integrated into human beings, allowing us one more tool in surviving the end of times.
“This is perhaps the single most important characteristic that would allow the species to survive in extremely harsh conditions. Aside from the explosions, massive fires, and radiation poisoning, the biggest challenges in surviving a nuclear holocaust would be in finding nutrition and water, something roaches would not struggle so much with,” continued the researcher. “This would allow the insect to thrive on what little nutrition was left. Animals, most plants, and a great number of insects would be eradicated in the holocaust, allowing roaches to subsist on whatever was left. Like it has done with all successful species on the planet, the widespread availability of food would then allow the species to thrive and eventually evolve and take over the planet. It’s quite a clever survival tool.”
It’s believed likely that any such evolution would take hundreds of thousands of years at minimum, meaning that no human survivors would have to suffer under the rule of the giant insects.
“We, mammals, were able to gain success because of an apocalypse. We were smaller than dinosaurs, we could survive on less food and water, and so when the apocalypse came and we survived while others died, there was an abundance of food and other resources, which allowed us to thrive,” said Scrape TV Science analyst Dr. Howard Poe. “We were the hardier species because of our unique biology, which isn’t the case so much anymore. We are the dinosaurs and roaches are mammals. I for one am glad that we will not have to live under their rule. I hate the bloody things.”
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
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