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NEWS > SCIENCE > RESISTANCE FUTILE AS GIANT SHRIMP STARTS INVASION OF THE GULF
RESISTANCE FUTILE AS GIANT SHRIMP STARTS INVASION OF THE GULF
December 30 2011
Morgan City, LA – Every now and then nature steps up and shows us who the boss really is. Usually that comes in the forms of hurricanes or earthquakes, but sometimes it takes a little more to show the world who is really in charge, changing the landscape of the planet forever.
That type of dramatic gesture has happened before at least once, when the dinosaurs got a little out of control. Pounded with a massive asteroid, the planet went into chaos, killing the majority of the species and making way for the rise of the mammals. Now we have grown to become the most dominant species on the planet and have manipulated it more than any other in history, something it appears the planet is not happy about.
Aside from the earthquakes and Tsunamis we have been experiencing, the planet has also started to warm up, damaging fish stocks and threatening to put us all under water. Now nature has delivered a new twist, one that could allow a new species to supplant humans the way we once supplanted our lizard overlords, putting us on the defensive as a species.
“It has the potential to be real ugly. But we just do not know,” said a spokesperson for the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department. “Not only are not sure what caused this, we are not sure what we will be able to do about it, especially if this species starts to breed and become dominant. That could threaten not only fish stocks, but also human life.”
At issue is the appearance of giant shrimp, massive creature that have begun invading the Gulf of Mexico, before presumably taking over the waters of the rest of the planet.
While apparently delicious, the shrimp can also be deadly having been blamed for the disappearance of at least shrimping vessels off the coast of Louisiana over the last five years.
“Unfortunately this appears to just be the start of something big and potentially very dangerous. For years we have been harvesting shrimp, eating them like no one’s business, and that has obviously made them at risk, and likely a little angry, which has pushed nature to create this new, ugly version which could be a real problem,” said Scrape TV Zoology analyst Cambridge Walker. “One of the major factors in the decline of the dinosaurs was the rising power of mammals and flowering plants. Both had been food for dinosaurs for years and they suddenly began to change, likely in response to that threat, which pushed dinos to the brink. The asteroid was really the nail in the coffin, mammals just made it impossible for them to recover after that event.”
Thus far, the shrimp have only reached sizes a little over a foot, but some have speculated that they could just be infant versions of a much larger animal lurking in the deeps.
“If there are one foot shrimp, there could very well be fifty foot ones. They have broken out and there is no limit anymore. Not only will these massive shrimp consume the oceans but eventually, inevitably, they will learn to walk on land and then we are really doomed. I’m sure they will also evolve better shells which would make them invulnerable to traditional weapons, which of course would only leave the nuclear option,” continued Walker. “That of course would destroy us and them, leaving room for some other invasive species to eventually dominate the planet. Whatever the end result, it’s pretty clear this is the beginning of the end for humans and all because of our insatiable lust for shrimp, delicious shrimp.”
It’s not clear how much longer we have before the shrimps take over.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
NEWS > SCIENCE > RESISTANCE FUTILE AS GIANT SHRIMP STARTS INVASION OF THE GULF
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