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NEWS > SCIENCE > STEPHEN HAWKING STILL CAN’T FIGURE OUT WOMEN, CLICHES
STEPHEN HAWKING STILL CAN’T FIGURE OUT WOMEN, CLICHES
January 7 2012
London, U.K. – Not everything he has done has worked out, and eventually real scientific knowledge will surpass his theories, it always does, but there is no doubt that Stephen Hawking will always be regarded as one of the greatest minds ever put on planet Earth. 
Hawking, if nothing else, has advanced our lust for scientific knowledge. In many ways, it almost doesn’t matter if he is right about anything, though he most certainly is, in the big picture. He popularized science in a way that few have ever done before, become an icon for thought and thinking, and even an inspiration for the disabled, doing all that from the confines of a body that just refuses to work properly.
All of those factors make Hawking one the great legends of science and thought, a legacy that will continue for as long as humanity does, but despite all that there is one area that he simply hasn’t not been able to fathom, women. Hawking admitted his complete and total bafflement at the fairer gender during an interview for his seventieth birthday, showing his humanity and his ability to try pass off pandering and immature clichés as actual jokes.
“Women. They are a complete mystery,” Hawking said during the interview which also covered a variety of other topics, most far too complex for the average mind, unlike the quip which just about everyone understands.
Hawking, despite his disability, has long been known as a ladies’ man, likely because he is smart, rich, and famous.
Generally women don’t go for guys scrunched up in wheelchairs who constantly try and prove how much smarter they are than everyone else, something Hawking probably did learn about women.
“He really is a remarkable person. An incredible mind confined to that crippled body that in so many ways actually helped make him into a greater genius. He has had no option but to live in his own mind, and that probably prompted him to even greater intellectual heights,” said Scrape TV Humour analyst Doug Cutter.”Unfortunately, it didn’t do anything to increase the quality of his jokes. I mean making a joke about not understanding women, that’s about the oldest and most boring gag in the books, almost as funny as making fun of a guy in a wheelchair. It’s not that it’s a bad joke, it’s just a cliché and for a person who has spent his whole life doing things no one ever imagined, well, that’s beneath him really.”
Not literally beneath him. Hawking has not had a woman literally beneath him for decades unless she was changing his bedpan.
“I mean he does spend all his time thinking about the cosmos and concepts that most people can’t even comprehend and so I’m sure he doesn’t spend a whole lot of time keeping up with the latest jokes or even where humour has gone, but still. I mean he has to know it’s gone beyond the Jack Parr show,” continued Cutter. “No one expects one the greatest minds in the world to be able to do great comedy, but even he should understand a cliché. No one expects Louis C.K. but we also don’t expect Carlos Mencia.”
Hawking is apparently a big fan of Dane Cook.
Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent
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