AL GORE MAKES PLANS TO SORT NEIGHBOUR’S GARBAGE

July 7 2009

Washington, DC – In recent years there has been no more vocal presence or robust warrior for the environment than Al Gore. The former Vice President of the United States has turned his post-political career into one of the most powerful and affecting of any former VP. His documentary ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ has spawned massive
criticism and massive acclaim, winning him a Nobel Peace Prize, and stirring the debate over the environment and our affect on it for a whole new generation. Gore though hasn’t been just a talking head and now he is putting his dedication to the environment on display with a whole new program.

Gore, speaking at Oxford University, announced new plans to revamp the recycling program in the United States which has often been beset by erratic support and inefficient protocols that often leaves many items in dumps. Gore called on President Obama to consolidate recycling programs across the country and unify them under a single standard. To further press his point Gore declared that he himself will be working on the ground level to make the program work and will be sorting though
garbage in his neighbourhood to separate recyclable and compostable materials from regular trash. He will then present the homeowners with the separated garbage and show them how simple it is to sort the items.

“We must show that we are all participants in this process. That our efforts to save the planet cannot be just idle talk or casual conversation intended to make ourselves feel as though we are doing good work. We have to roll up our sleeves and participate hand in hand with those making this world a better place,” said Gore. “To that end I myself will participate in the process and ensure that my neighbourhood is helping to make the world a better place. I will personally separate not only my own family’s garbage but also the garbage of all of my neighbours. Some on my street are excellent recyclers and others lack. By creating one standard we will benefit future generations and ensure that we leave behind a better planet than we were given.”

Gore also stated that he plans on purchasing additional recycling and compost boxes for all of the houses on his street with his own money. He also declared that he was ready to proceed with the program and has already purchased new garden gloves and overalls.

“It would be something to see someone like Al Gore going through your trash when you wake up. Aside from him being the former Vice President he is also a Nobel Laureate and that simply isn’t something you see every day. I’m sure most people could envision say Dan Quayle picking through their garbage but if you happened upon say Mikhail Gorbachev or Desmond Tutu doing the
same thing, well that would certainly give you pause,” said Scrape TV Environmental analyst Tanner King. “Generally the kinds of people you catch going through your trash are a little less sophisticated than your typical Nobel Laureate. Pick-up trucks filled with old mattresses and seemingly endless amounts of rakes. You just don’t picture say Elie Wiesel driving one of those trucks.”

There are no official statistics on the type of vehicles the living Peace Prize winners drive but it is believed that very few drive pick-up trucks or oversized vans.

“Some of the criticism that has been levelled at Gore is warranted and some of it is
not. What can’t be argued is that he has stirred the debate on global warming and environmental activism with a level of authority that hippies and weed smokers have never been able to accomplish and that is a good thing. Now we are seeing that his dedication to the initiative is more than just legacy-goading or fishing for another Nobel. We can see that in this action,” continued King. “Of course he will likely anger more than a few of his neighbours. I’m sure they are already nervous living down the street from him but he is going to nit-pick them to death. Leaving at seven in the morning for work and seeing Al Gore standing in front of you with all your garbage strewn out on the front porch isn’t exactly going to save his relationships with the neighbours even if it does help save the environment.”

Gore also said that he is toying with the idea of going through his neighbourhood to turn off lights people have left on after leaving the room.  

Anna Phillips, Science Correspondent

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