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NEWS > SPORTS > AL QAEDA PLANNING HUGE WORLD CUP BLOWOUT
AL QAEDA PLANNING HUGE WORLD CUP BLOWOUT
April 11 2010
Pretoria, South Africa – It’s difficult to truly articulate how popular soccer is around the world. As the most popular sport in almost every country on the planet, the sport is less of a competition between athletes and more of a Lingua Franca for the majority
of the world. For all the things dividing human beings, there is arguably one thing that joins the majority of people together, and that one thing is Soccer.
There is of course no bigger celebration of that sport and that union of people than the World Cup which, with all apologies to the Super Bowl and the Olympics, is the biggest sporting event in the world. With millions expected to descend on South Africa when that country hosts the 2010 competition, once again the celebration of the sport and of what people can do when they come together will be on display once again. With countries as diverse as New Zealand, Chile, and Cameroon all competing against one another, the global reach of the games will undoubtedly bring celebrations just as diverse. One group that has already announced their plans to celebrate is notorious terrorist organization Al Qaeda which will reportedly put aside their differences with much of the rest of the world and try to put together one of the biggest celebrations in World Cup history.
“How beautiful would the game between England and the USA be when broadcast live from a stadium full of spectators - when the sound of an explosion rumbles through the stands. We will make these games the most memorable in the history of sport,” said an Al-Qaeda branch on their website. “The sounds of our celebrations will be heard the world over, and will be known throughout history amongst the hundreds and thousands attending the games, Allah willing.”
The branch reportedly plans on focusing their celebrations on American and British games, two long term rivals with the organization.
“Al Qaeda has certainly been a mixed bag since they debuted in the 1990’s and have certainly encountered problems in the last few years, but this could in many ways be their avenue to normalizing relations with the rest of the world. For many years they had a hold in 
countries all over the world but they have seen a serious degradation of that influence in recent years for a variety of reasons. The World Cup could be just the avenue to restoring them to the status they previously enjoyed,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “The World Cup is about as big as you can get, even if you don’t see that in the United States, and is the perfect platform for a small organization like this to really put themselves on the map, or in the case of Al Qaeda put themselves back on the map. I think we can expect big things from the group come June.”
Because Al Qaeda is not a country they are ineligible to field a team for the games but like many others will still boast a contingent.
“Events like the World Cup are one of the few times that countries and people can truly come together without thoughts of malice or politics or cultural and religious differences. Because the sport of soccer is so well loved by so many people the World Cup is the perfect opportunity to bring all peoples together, not just the wealthy ones such as we see in the Olympics,” continued Marvins. “Soccer is played by street children in Zimbabwe and millionaires in England. That is the beauty of the game and that allows for true understanding and true unity, something to be celebrated. I’m sure Al Qaeda’s party will be a blast.”
The organization has reportedly already begun collecting a record amount of fireworks for the celebration.
Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent
NEWS > SPORTS > AL QAEDA PLANNING HUGE WORLD CUP BLOWOUT
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