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NEWS > SPORTS > BILL BELICHICK MAY MAKE PATRIOTS BOW BEFORE TEBOW THIS WEEKEND
BILL BELICHICK MAY MAKE PATRIOTS BOW BEFORE TEBOW THIS WEEKEND
December 15 2011
Boston, MA – The biggest story in the NFL this year hasn’t been the lockout, or the dominance of the Packers, or the success of the Lions. In any normal season those stories would have been more than enough to sustain sports writers across the nation. This year, though, the big story has been Tim Tebow.
He is too small, he runs too much, and he doesn’t throw like an NFL quarterback, but all Tebow has done is win. Since taking over as starter for the Broncos the team, not a particularly good team by any standards, has only lost one game. Tebow has been the one largely responsible for that and despite all logic and football know-how, has proven pretty much everyone wrong.
Much of that success, and criticism, has been attributed to Tebow’s rabid devotion to religion. While religion may have a small effect on both of those things, few people outside Tebow believe that God has really stepped in and helped guide the Broncos to their recent success. One of those few people who does apparently believe that, though, is Bill Belichick who just happens to be the head coach of the Patriots, whom the Broncos face this weekend. Belichick has, in contrast to his normal character, started to praise Tebow, leading many to believe that he might just roll over and not risk offending the Lord, or Tebow, this weekend.
“There’s not another quarterback in the league who have Tim Tebow’s skills,” said Belichick.
The Patriots of course have a quarterback as well, a pretty good one actually, but apparently even he is second-rate when compared to Tebow.
Belichick has never publicly discussed his religious beliefs, but most people with even a little bit of faith are afraid of the wrath of God. It’s not clear if God Himself has actually done anything to any of Tebow’s critics in the past, but better safe than sorry.
“Tebow is certainly one of those guys who defy expectations but he is talented. The best comparison is Doug Flutie who just didn’t have the stats for NFL success but he proved himself capable of winning. On a numbers basis he shouldn’t have had success, but he did. Tebow seems to be the same thing, though he has had a better opportunity than Flutie ever did,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “Frankly, looking at his numbers I’m inclined to think that God is involved. There is no
way he should have the success he is having, the scouting reports are right. It seems strange that the Almighty would worry about football games, even stranger still that he would be a Broncos fan, but he does work in mysterious ways.”
It’s believed that the only way the Broncos could have had success was with divine intervention.
“Really, the Broncos are playing well as a unit. They don’t have a ton of talent but they are executing well and that is good coaching, which presumably the Lord had something to do with as well. Someone in head office did right by God. Maybe they could give some advice to the Vikings,” continued Marvins. “Or the Raiders. I mean God killed Al Davis this year, surely he could have done more for the team. Oh well, I’m not a Raider fan anyways.”
It’s believed that God has still forsaken the AFC West, despite Denver’s recent success.
Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent
NEWS > SPORTS > BILL BELICHICK MAY MAKE PATRIOTS BOW BEFORE TEBOW THIS WEEKEND
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