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NEWS > SPORTS > FIFA INVESTIGATING U.S. CLAIMS OF NUCLEAR INFLUENCED JAPANESE WORLD CUP WIN
FIFA INVESTIGATING U.S. CLAIMS OF NUCLEAR INFLUENCED JAPANESE WORLD CUP WIN
July 18 2011
Zurich, Switzerland – Not many people thought it would end this way. Japan isn’t a soccer power, hardly even a player to be honest, but today the entire country is celebrating a World Cup victory. For most people it seemed obvious that the United 
States would win. They had defeated soccer giant Brazil after all and so little Japan should have been a cinch, a walk in the proverbial soccer pitch. However, after a last minute goal and a heart-breaking shoot out, the Japanese women hoisted the World Cup trophy and the U.S. went home defeated.
That was not how it was supposed to happen.
Defeat is not something the Americans take very well, and given their firm belief that they were a team of destiny, this loss is putting with a particularly sour taste in their mouths. While many of the players showed nothing but good sportsmanship in the face of the devastating loss, U.S. soccer officials have taken a slightly harsher view of things and have asked FIFA, the governing body of the World Cup, to investigate the performance of the Japanese team. In particular, the U.S. is claiming that the late surge is completely out of character and that such resurgent stamina could only have been possible with external aid, aid that is possibly linked to radiation exposure from the nuclear chaos earlier this year.
“Our players are crushed, of course, but they have taken the loss as we would hope, like professionals. However many of them complained during the match, and now afterwards, that the Japanese players exhibited extra human traits, things no players
should be capable of and they feel that this is the result of some outside influence,” said one U.S. soccer official who preferred to remain nameless. “They also noted that many of the Japanese players seemed very hot, hotter than normal. We believe that some kind of material influenced the play of the Japanese players and we have formally requested an investigation by FIFA.”
All players underwent radiation testing before the match and no anomalies were noted.
“It is very unlikely that any type of radiation exposure would have resulted in increased player ability. Much of that myth has been created in the movies and comic books. The real effects of radiation exposure are not increased strength or superhuman abilities but rather things like nausea, diarrhoea, fever, and cancer which would not increase performance on the soccer field,” said Scrape TV Health analyst Rebecca Phelps. “We saw none of those things in the Japanese players. The surge in the dying minutes of the game are more than likely a result of the X factor which influences so much of sport rather than some kind of radiation effects. Keep in mind that the people of Japan probably have more experience with radiation exposure than any other country and that has not made them into an athletic powerhouse. There is no evidence that that has changed here.”
It’s not clear if the Japanese players continued to train in the country following the disaster, nor whether or not they consumed any food contaminated during the chaos.
“I think that these claims are really kind of petty. The Japanese women did a great job,
an unexpected job, but a great one and they deserve to be congratulated for their effort rather than chastised. If the U.S. had these concerns they should have been brought up before that game, or they should have done the same thing with their players, but they only became worried after they lost,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “For the people of Japan this is a great victory. It hardly makes up for the tsunami and radiation exposure, really not even close, but it’s a good soccer victory and no one should try to take that away from them. Hopefully FIFA sees this for what it is and shuts the door on the investigation before they even open it.”
Japanese soccer officials suspiciously had no comment on the accusations.
Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent
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