U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > SPORTS > SATAN POWERS TOM BRADY TO VICTORY OVER TIM TEBOW
SATAN POWERS TOM BRADY TO VICTORY OVER TIM TEBOW
December 19 2011
Denver, CO – In a face-off between the seasoned pro and the young buck, many had hoped and feared that he God-powered Tim Tebow would lead his team to victory against the heathen Patriots. It didn’t quite work that way as Tom Brady and the Patriots crushed the Broncos 41-23, dominating every aspect of the game.
That loss ended Denver’s incredible run with Tim Tebow in command, a run that had made him a household name and pushed many people to believe that God does in fact have a place in football, and that that place was with Tim Tebow.
However, the loss has shaken many in the Tebow camp, concerned not only that their man lost, but lost to a man who has had children out of wedlock and pre-marital relations with his current wife.
Tebow, known more for his religious belief than his football prowess, has never done such things in his life yet still lost to the sinning and moral bankrupt Brady and the Patriots.
“It’s awful. I cannot believe that God has abandoned us in this way. He has allowed the Devil to enter into football again and this, well this is something disgusting and offensive. We have to have faith that the Lord has a plan, but faith is difficult at this time,” said one Broncos fan, further stating that he does still believe in God despite the loss.
Others, though, have been less understanding and forgiving of the Lord’s apparent abandonment of Tebow and the Broncos.
“I can no longer put my faith in Tebow. It is clear that he is a false prophet, likely sent here by the Devil Himself to tempt us and we believed in him, we followed him. Tebow is the Devil incarnate, he is here to push us away from the Lord while pretending to by his representative. The Broncos need to cut him or they are as guilty of his sins as he is himself,” said another supporter, who admitted that he originally hailed from Oakland.
The loss by the Broncos prevented them from clinching a playoff spot this week in the weak AFC West.
The team plays the lowly Buffalo Bills next week, which will likely be a real test of the faith of the fans, particularly if they lose.
“God has always played a major part in sport, but generally only from the devotee standpoint. There is little evidence that God or Jesus have or had any real investment in professional sports or the outcome of individual games. I’m sure most people would like to believe otherwise, which I guess does require a lot of faith, particularly if you are a Broncos fan,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “Really, that’s the only way the Broncos could ever really have fans in the first place, through faith. Well, stupidity perhaps, but primarily faith. I mean it’s the Broncos. Seriously.”
After the game, Brady likely went off and engaged in a carnal relationship with his supermodel wife, something he traditionally does after a victory, of which he has had a lot.
Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent
NEWS > SPORTS > SATAN POWERS TOM BRADY TO VICTORY OVER TIM TEBOW
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Sports/pages-3/Satan-powers-Tom-Brady-to-victory-over-Tim-Tebow-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side-2011-12-19.html |
TWEET IT! http://goo.gl/TizJz |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
