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NEWS > SPORTS > STEELERS ADMIT THAT THE ONLY WAY TEBOW COULD HAVE BEATEN THEM WAS WITH A MIRACLE
STEELERS ADMIT THAT THE ONLY WAY TEBOW COULD HAVE BEATEN THEM WAS WITH A MIRACLE
January 9 2012
Denver, CO – Tebow mania, once thought to be on the downslide, is once again the talk of the National Football League after the Broncos came out victorious against the Pittsburgh Steelers. That unlikely victory, a team that barely made the playoffs versus one with the best defence in the league, has sent tongues wagging once again, not only about Tebow, but also about his apparent communion with the Lord.
As a fun note, Tebow also threw for 316 yards, which invokes a key biblical verse often seen on signs at football games. All of those factors combined have made Tebow and the Broncos once again the talk of the nation.
The team, and even Tebow himself, have quite rightly diminished the talk of the Lord’s involvement in the game, but others have stated very simply that the only way the Broncos had a chance of defeating the Steelers was with some degree of divine intervention, or just lousy play in the second quarter.
“It’s a tough thing. We know we are the better team, much better. We just stumbled in the second quarter and couldn’t get back. There are lots of reasons for that, but in the end we just didn’t do it and that’s what counts,” said a Steelers insider. “It was a kind of miracle, it had to be. I mean they couldn’t have done it on their own, I mean we saw the game last week. Something had to have had a hand in making this happen. It couldn’t just have been us not playing well.”
The Broncos will face the sinful Patriots next week in New England. Quarterback Tom Brady will likely engage in a great deal of lustful relations with his supermodel wife both before and after the game. Tebow, it is believed, will likely have cups of coffee in lieu of carnal knowledge of a woman, without just a dash of sugar.
“The Steelers had a lot of injuries, including to Roethlisberger, and that had a real impact on the game. The Broncos had a lot of lucky breaks in the second quarter and it was just too much, given all their injuries, for the Steelers to come back from. That, though, doesn’t mean that God wasn’t involved,” said Scrape TV Sports analyst Mark Marvins. “I mean God could very well have screwed up Roethlisberger’s ankle, he could have hurt all those other players. Just because there are reasons it doesn’t mean that the Lord wasn’t involved. I’m sure now a lot of other teams are kicking themselves for not nabbing Tebow, and it puts the Broncos in a tough spot for next year.”
Technically Tebow is the backup quarterback, in line behind Brady Quinn. It’s not clear if the Broncos will tempt the wrath of the Lord by cutting or trading him Tebow next season.
“Look, there is no way, no way at all that God is a Broncos fan. He is obviously a Tebow fan and He will go wherever Tebow goes. Except for Buffalo, obviously, that is a place that even Heaven has forgotten about. There is no way He would follow him there,” continued Marvins. “It had to have been divine intervention for this win, no two ways about it, but the same won’t happen next week. Frankly, as weak as the Patriots defence is, I don’t see any way to overcome Brady and that offence. That is an attack fueled by the Devil himself and even God would have trouble keeping them at bay.”
Brady also likely wouldn’t move to Kansas City or Jacksonville, provided God has anything to say about it of course.
Alexi Orton, Sports Correspondent
NEWS > SPORTS > STEELERS ADMIT THAT THE ONLY WAY TEBOW COULD HAVE BEATEN THEM WAS WITH A MIRACLE
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