CONFICKER WORM FEARS CAUSE THOUSANDS TO BURY THEIR COMPUTERS

April 2 2009

Sunnyvale, CA – April Fool’s Day turned out to be a little less disastrous than computer experts had feared. While news outlets and internet security experts feared that the much reported Conficker worm would devastate computer systems worldwide, the net result of the worm amounted to nothing more than a great deal of hype. While experts warn that the viruses writers could still turn the worm into a malignant force, with each passing day, most now believe that the biggest threat has passed. Not all computers though have been safe from the virus as thousands of people around the world begin digging their machines from backyard gardens.

Bringing to mind the ‘War of the Worlds’ panic, media outlets are reporting numerous incidents where less than savvy computer users have buried their home computers fearing a worm infestation in their homes. Now with Conficker less of a threat, and realizing that internet worms are different from earthworms, those same users are having to dig their computers from the ground and red-facedly bring them to repair shops to have them cleaned.

“There are a lot of people that still find computers intimidating and when something like this comes along that creates panic in even savvy users they are that more likely to panic and do something rash. That appears to be what has happened all across the world,” said Scrape TV Technology analyst Ken Kevins. “As media outlets climb all over one another to be the first ones on the story they tend to craft half researched and sometimes exploitive stories which gets people more worked up than they should be. It’s really a shame when that happens because it’s isn’t easy cleaning dirt off a motherboard.”

Conficker is believed to have originated in Germany and spread to at least 9 million computers including those for the British House of Commons, and French Navy network Intramar, and those of the Bundewehr, the German Armed Forces. It is not believed that any of those government authorities were among those having to dig their machines from the ground.

“There’s a tricky balance in personifying software, particularly potentially harmful software. On one hand it puts the concept in clear language that even the most un-tech savvy can understand, and on the other it risks people taking the term literally and panicking,” continued Kevins. “You can understand the concern and fear that people who have no understanding of what an internet worm is imaging their house being
infested with the animals while they were at work. It’s got a very visceral image that no doubt took over a lot of people’s imaginations and is now going to cost them a lot of money. Who knows, that may have been part of the motivation for the virus.”

Worms and other worm-like animals are well known for causing distress in people. Some psychologists point to the Garden of Eden tale and a generational memory as a reason for those fears, though that has fallen out of favour in recent years due to it being a story. Other rationales include a relationship to the male anatomy, or just plain craziness.

“Medically the term for fear of worms is ‘Scoleciphobia’ and is a significant issue across the world. There is no clean rationale for such irrational fears but many people are now looking at stress as the principle cause,”said Scrape TV Psychology analyst Dr. Sarah Welp. “When subjected to widespread chatter about the subject people affected by those fears are prone to act irrationally and that seems to be what has happened here. This was probably made worse by the complete and total ignorance of computers and associating even basic logic with them and is going to result in a lot of dirty computers.”

No stats have been released as to the number of computers buried by users. Anti-virus programs such as Norton or Bit-Defender are unable to clean computers of dirt.

Martin Philton, Technology Correspondent

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