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NEWS > TECHNOLOGY > GOOGLE BREAKS THE INTERNET AS EXECUTIVES PLAY THE FIDDLE
GOOGLE BREAKS THE INTERNET AS EXECUTIVES PLAY THE FIDDLE
January 31 2009
Mountain View, CA – An apparent human error led to a glitch today that forced Google search to mark every single site on the web as potentially harmful. Malware detection is a common part of services Google offers through their search results, pointing out sites containing malware, adware, and those suspected of conducting phishing. While on occasion sites have improperly been deemed harmful, this is the first time the search giant has declared every site harmful.
“For about forty-five minutes there it felt like the internet had well and truly broken. Even searching for Google itself brought up the warning which I’m sure confused a whole lot of people,” said Scrape TV Technology analyst Ken Kevins. “It’s also especially ironic coming from a company that is so much a proponent of net neutrality that they basically shut down web access for two thirds of web users wround the world.”
Google holds approximately sixty-five per cent of all web search traffic, though a significant percentage of traffic is driven to websites through direct links. 
“It was only a few days ago that the company released the ‘Glasnost Application’ which will allow users to determine if their ISP is throttling their traffic. You have to wonder if ISP’s are now trying to think up ways to throttle Google’s influence,” continued Kevins. “It was a glitch of course, but the reality is Google has a massive influence over the web in both content delivery and the shape of that content. To large degree Google shapes the web itself and so any kind of glitch in their search is going to have a widespread impact. They fixed almost immediately, but it shows the potential power that Google has over the entire medium.”
The fate of the employee who committed the error has not been revealed. It is thought that the employee may disappear off the face of the planet.
“Google is one of the largest companies in the world and as such they have a lot of eyes looking at them. There is a great deal of concern both in the United States and in Europe of the potential of their influence and the burgeoning monopoly they have over search traffic and this kind of thing is a potent reminder of how dangerous their power can be,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “The last thing they need is to remind people how powerful they really are. It’s hard to dominate the world if you announce your intentions to do so. I’d imagine that the code writer has already gone off to pasture, or disappeared in some black bag with the Google logo emblazoned on it.”
While no long lasting ill effects are expected, the clarion call for internet users was all too clear. The fragile nature of the web, and the internet itself, and the influence Google has over it is leading many to fear to potential damage the company could cause should they choose to do so.
“It is also possible that this was done deliberately, to show the web world just how powerful they are; a mighty foot being pounded down on internet community. They have shown definitively that should they choose to break the web, they could do it,” continued Green. “It reminds me of Rocky IV when Ivan Drago tells Rocky ‘I will break you.’ Let’s not forget that Sergey Brin was born in Russia and he would have been the right age when that movie came out. I can see him wanting to emulate that scenario in his own little way.”
We attempted to contact representatives for Sylvester Stallone and Dolph Lundgren but our calls were not returned at press time. Both are currently shooting the film ‘The Expendables.
“I can’t see this as anything but positive for their stock prices and it may even help with adwords. They have made it very clear who is the king of the web and no one will dare challenge them after this,” continued Green. “They are quite clearly the empire running the internet and while it may be a little early to have Brin and Page playing the violin as it burns; they have proven that if anyone has the ability to do just that it is them.”
Google has denied reports that co-founder Brin was recently spotted purchasing a Stradivarius. For the time being the internet and the web have been repaired.
Martin Philton, Technology Correspondent
NEWS > TECHNOLOGY > GOOGLE BREAKS THE INTERNET AS EXECUTIVES PLAY THE FIDDLE
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