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NEWS > TECHNOLOGY > STEVE JOBS RESTING COMFORTABLY AFTER NON EXISTENT HEART ATTACK
STEVE JOBS RESTING COMFORTABLY AFTER NON EXISTENT HEART ATTACK
October 5 2008
Cupertino, CA – Steve Jobs is reportedly resting comfortably at his home two days after multiple news organizations reported that the Apple CEO had been rushed to hospital after suffering a major heart attack. The false reports caused Apple’s stock price to drop precipitously, most of which it regained after trading, minimizing the possibility of an actual heart attack for the 53 year old Jobs.
This isn’t the first time this year that reports have surfaced regarding the possible health of Jobs. In June many reporters were taken aback at a gaunt looking Jobs giving his keynote address at WWDC. Then in August Bloomberg accidently published a 2500 word obituary for Jobs, which also caused a sudden drop in Apple’s stock prices. Apple representatives have assured the media that the iPod guru is alive and well, despite the efforts to kill him off.
“Steve Jobs is fundamental to the health of Apple as a whole so it’s not surprising that these reports cause such a stir,” said Scrape TV business analyst Ken Green. “Apple’s success is due almost solely to Jobs’ vision and drive. Not only do things like this wreak havoc on Wall Street, but on fan boys as well. It appears though that there is a concerted effort to eliminate Jobs one way or the other so he’d better watch his back.”
The most recent incident was a result of a posting on the ironically named iReport, a CNN production. The service allows readers to upload videos, pictures, and news reports that they deem interesting. Because the iReport is community based, no vetting or source checking is ever done. While CNN maintains that community policing is enough to prevent incidents such as this from happening more regularly, for some once is more than enough.
“The iReport is an interesting experiment but one that has limits. Someone catches a tornado on his cell phone, sure, but the internet is full of rumours and half truths and inevitably something like this was going to break through,” said Scrape TV Media analyst Sarah Piper. “When it comes to someone like Jobs who has such a loyal following, people grab any bit of news they can and run with it. The most amazing part of this is that people still believe what they read on the internet no matter how often its proven wrong. No wonder spammers get rich. I can’t imagine that they have much of a leg to stand on after this, and what would they defend it for? To have people complaining about the price of stamps? What’s the point?”
CNN has deleted the entry about Jobs and directed the poster’s information to the authorities. Their actions though may be too little too late as this incident may havetaken any shreds of validity the service may have had.
“Look, they have reporters and researchers, there really isn’t a reason for this in the first place,” continued Piper. “They are just jumping on the social media bandwagon where you get your users to do all the work and you just sit back and collect money. After this though, well I don’t think they’ll be getting rid of Anderson Cooper anytime soon.”
Jobs himself had no comment on the situation and the company did not respond to suggestions that there may be a group out to get the CEO.
“Steve is at home relaxing. He realizes that in his position things like this are going to happen every now and then. Steve is healthy and still leading the company, no matter how little the opposition likes it. On the plus side, sales of the new Nano jumped on Friday. Guess there’s a positive in every story.”
Martin Philton, Technology Correspondent
NEWS > TECHNOLOGY > STEVE JOBS RESTING COMFORTABLY AFTER NON EXISTENT HEART ATTACK
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