HEADLINES

RICK SANTORUM PROBABLY SHOCKED HIMSELF WITH PRIMARY HAT TRICK Denver, CO – Well this was a little unexpected. Only days after gaining his third major primary win it appeared a lock that Mitt Romney was going to finally get the nomination that everyone expected from the beginning. With Newt Gingrich falling even further behind and no other real competition on the horizon, it seemed a cinch for Romney, but then along came Rick.   GINGRICH PROMISES MOON BASE FOR HIS MISTRESSES Miami, FL – Every election in every country holds with it promise, promise of change, promise of hope. Occasionally that hope becomes manifest, but most often it ends up being just false promises, usually honestly-intended promises, but false nonetheless. Barack Obama is not the first leader to make promises he couldn’t deliver upon, and he most certainly won’t be the last.     GINGRICH REALLY WISHING FOR MOON DELEGATES AFTER GETTING TROUNCED IN FLORIDA Tampa, FL – For a little while it seemed that the race in Florida might be another squeaker. The polling between Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich was close in the days leading up to the election and then, suddenly, things seemed to turn in Romney’s favour, something which very much showed itself when voters actually went to the polls, giving Romney a double digit win and possibly ending Gingrich’s hopes forever.

MICHELE BACHMANN SAYS GOP RACE MAY END SOON, OR NOT, OR MAYBE, OR CABBAGE Washington, D.C. – To most observers it has become reasonably clear that the race towards the Republican nomination has started to go the way it was expected to go by now. Mitt Romney is in the lead, Newt Gingrich’s skeletons have derailed him, Rick Santorum is deluding himself, and Ron Paul is sticking through to the end.   MITT ROMNEY KIND OF CARES THAT PEOPLE THINK HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT POOR PEOPLE Washington, D.C. – In every political campaign there will be gaffes. Fatigue brought on by long hours and endless questions inevitably result in boneheaded answers and comments on occasion. It’s the nature of the game and everyone makes one or two during their run for whatever office they are trying to achieve.   HILLARY CLINTON DEFINITELY NOT TRANSFORMING HERSELF INTO SUPER VILLAIN Washington, D.C. – Few will debate that Hillary Clinton has had a pretty remarkable life so far. Ups, downs, and sideways moves, Clinton has made herself into one of the most important voices in the U.S. and arguably one of the most important female voices in U.S. history. In many ways her accomplishments still pale in comparison to male counterparts, but still she has done some incredible things.

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