News Briefs
Politics
U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
 Retractions
Humour
News Home
News Archive
Scrapepeida

 

 

 

 

 





 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


SCRAPE TV NEWS STAFF
Editor-in-Chief
Dave Dalkin
Business
William Ashford
Health
Lauren Hebert
U.S.A.
Mike Michaels
Everyone Else
Emil Uliya
Science
Anna Phillips
Sports
Alexi Orton
Videogames
Douglas Havermore
Politics
Edward Bastil
Entertainment
Samantha Dryden
Technology
Martin Philton


 

 


 

 

 

 

HEADLINES
FROM THE PAGES OF THE LARUE LISTENER

JENNIFER ANISTON DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT BRAD PITT, THINK ABOUT BRAD PITT, OR DREAM ABOUT BRAD PITT

PORN LEGEND SASHA GREY SAYS PORN COMPANY EXPLOITING HER

RICK SANTORUM PROBABLY SHOCKED HIMSELF WITH PRIMARY HAT TRICK

SCIENTISTS CONFUSED, ANGRY ABOUT SLOWING OF GLOBAL WARMING

JAMAICA MELTS DOWN THOUSANDS OF ILLEGAL GUNS AND TRIES TO SMOKE THEM

VENEZUELAN OPPOSITION CANDIDATE UNLIKELY TO USE CANCER ATTACK AGAINST CHAVEZ
NEWS BRIEFS
HALLE BERRY TAKING DAUGHTER TO EUROPE WITH BOYFRIEND WHO WILL PROBABLY BEAT HER UP
SUGE KNIGHT ARRESTED FOR HIS MOST BORING OFFENCE YET
GARY BUSEY BANKRUPT AFTER SPENDING MOST OF HIS MONEY ON CRAZY
KATY PERRY WILL NOT HAVE TO PAY RUSSELL BRAND FOR HIS YEAR OF SERVICE

TOP STORIES


Politics U.S.A. Everyone Else

MICHELE BACHMANN SAYS GOP RACE MAY END SOON, OR NOT, OR MAYBE, OR CABBAGE

HILLARY CLINTON DEFINITELY NOT TRANSFORMING HERSELF INTO SUPER VILLAIN

U.S. MARINES MISTAKENLY INVADE VIRGINIA AND NORTH CAROLINA

U.S. JUST WAITING FOR BIGGER BOMBS BEFORE ATTACKING IRAN

MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS WOULD RATHER NO ONE WINS PRESIDENTIAL RACE

U.S. CONSIDERING HALT TO KILLING CIVILIANS WITH DRONES AFTER PAKISTANI REQUEST

Health Science Business

POPE BENEDICT EXORCISED TWO MEN AND SENT THEM OFF TO BOYS CAMP FOR RECUPERATION

CATHOLIC LEAGUE AMASSING ARMY TO KILL PRESIDENT OBAMA PLANS FOR CONTRACEPTION

Technology Sports Video Games

MARK ZUCKERBERG STILL A LITTLE AFRAID OF GIRLS EVEN WITH BILLIONS OF DOLLARS

BILL GATES FEELS HE SHOULD PAY MORE TAXES AND MAY DO SO IF ASKED

TOM BRADY BEATS ELI MANNING TO THE SHOWERS FOLLOWING SUPER BOWL LOSS

NHL FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO DETERMINE IF PLAYERS ARE BRAIN DAMAGED OR JUST HOCKEY PLAYERS

Entertainment Future Retractions

CHRISTINA AGUILERA QUICKLY BECOMING TOO BIG FOR ‘THE VOICE’ OR ANY TELEVISION SCREEN

ROSIE O’DONNELL MANAGES TO SQUEEZE HERSELF AND SHOW INTO SMALLER STUDIO

REVAMPED GUANTANAMO BAY STILL SEEKING OCCUPANTS

CLEVELAND VOLCANO SHOWS SIGNS OF IMMINENT ERUPTION

TAXPAYERS TO PAY FOR NEXT INSTALMENT OF THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS FRANCHISE