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NEWS > U.S.A. > FBI TERROR LIST HITS NEW MILESTONE
FBI TERROR LIST HITS NEW MILESTONE
December 9 2009
Washington, D.C. – Before that fateful day in September eight years ago terrorism was an abstract for many people, a story passed from person to person about something that happened to someone somewhere. When the planes hit, though, 
terrorism stopped becoming a whisper and turned into a roar. A tale no longer told in abstract, but a verifiable threat with threats around every corner, a tale told to children to remind them of the monsters in the real world.
With wars still raging around the world and bombings still a regular occurrence the threat of terrorism has seemingly only increased since that day, the day that sparked the global war on terror. While military power has likely reduced the number of attacks it hasn’t eliminated the threat as many people had hoped it would. Despite that, there is still major progress being made against the terrorist threats levelled against the western world with plots being broken up and terrorists seeing the wrong end of the barrel. Of course not all the work against terror is being done with guns, the FBI has also been deeply involved in gathering intelligence and recently announced that they had hit a new high with their terror watch list, which recently found person number 400,000.
“We are very proud of our efforts and the hard work that all our people put into this list and now we are starting to see some great results. Every day we nominate about 1600 people for the list and about 600 are removed, a gap that was much tighter previously. Our efforts at reducing waste have resulted in major success putting us at this 400,000 number,” said an FBI spokesperson. “I want to make it clear as well that these are all unique names. Previously we had been adding names multiple times which obscured our results, but now we have it down to a science. Every single one of the names on this list are genuine terror suspects and this new milestone shows how we are contributing to the global war against terrorism.”
The FBI also noted that they had removed names such as Big Bird and Clark Kent from the list alongside the repeats.
“The American Military has spent billions trying to quell the chaos in Iraq and Afghanistan and have had mixed success but it appears they were going about it the wrong way. With this list the FBI is proving that the pen is truly mightier than the sword and could provide the world with a whole new way to fight threats in the future,” said Scrape TV Terrorism analyst Doug Davids. “This type of list would never have been possible in the past. The reams and ream of paper that would have had to be used would have made it so burdensome that many names would simply have been left off the list. In the digital age though such considerations aren’t even necessary and so analysts can just add names to their heart’s content.”
Less than five per cent of the people on the list are U.S. citizens which has concerned many that the names may in fact be made up but foreign.
“There are probably a handful of names on that list that are inappropriate or even doubled but for the most part this list is an incredible accomplishment. No other intelligence agency in the world has a list this large for anything which shows that the FBI is still number one in many ways,” continued Davids. “And the threat to terrorists and terror organizations is real. True, they need to avoid Marines and special ops forces but those military officers will now be equipped with a very extensive list, the kind of weapon that only the FBI could provide them. This gives the best hope yet that the war on terror will one day end, and I’ll be out of a job.”
Ronald McDonald, whose name has appeared on the list three times, is no longer a suspect for the time being.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent
NEWS > U.S.A. > FBI TERROR LIST HITS NEW MILESTONE
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