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NEWS > U.S.A. > DETROIT STUDENTS OFFICIALLY THE STUPIDEST IN THE COUNTRY
DETROIT STUDENTS OFFICIALLY THE STUPIDEST IN THE COUNTRY
December 11 2009
Detroit, MI – Rampant unemployment, out of control crime, and an eroding urban core have all been problems plaguing the city of Detroit for many years, taking it from the centre of industry and the backbone of the biggest economy in the world to ruin
of a city, a rotting husk of what it once was. There has been hope in recent years that the city could eventually turn things around and restore at least some of its former glory but the collapse of the city’s big three car companies all but squashed those efforts.
All is not lost for the city though with efforts to revamp the downtown core having shown some success, per-capita crime very gradually declining, and major sports teams bringing some level of pride back to the remaining residents all point towards a future of some kind for the city. Now the city has seen a bright spot that places the children of the city at the very top of the heap for the first time in many years with a new set of testing showing that fourth and eighth graders are the stupidest in the country, falling to the bottom in virtually every testing category.
“Approximately one-sixth of fourth and eighth grade students were tested across the city and they scored record lows across the board. Math in particular was a high point
where they scored the lowest that the National Assessment of Education Progress test has ever seen. These results were largely expected but the heights they have reached are far beyond surprising,” said Robert Bobb, emergency financial manager of Detroit Public Schools. “Those scores on the prestigious test are in the same range as would be expected from children who never attended school and simply guessed at the answers. From the children that I have spoken with a great number of them did exactly that which helped to propel the numbers so high. Most of the students likely didn’t even understand the questions so it makes sense that they were getting the answers wrong.”
Bobb noted that reading comprehension scores will not be released until the spring but that a similar outcome was expected.
“Our city has gone through very hard times in recent years but we can always point to the 
children to point the way to the future. These scores are a great source of pride
for the city and show that we can still be the best at something. These children represent the future of Detroit and their dedication to being the absolute best at everything they do speaks well to our future,” said Mayor Dave Bing. “These are the future assembly line workers, the future garbage collectors, the future McDonald’s employees and they are showing that they will take those jobs to the greatest of heights. All too often we have relied on education and intelligence to get through life and ignored the plucky spirit that made this city what it is. Obviously our children have pluck and that means a bright future for Detroit.”
Bing, an NBA Hall of Famer and successful businessman, was elected to office after Kwame Kilpatrick stepped down to spend time in federal prison.
“There have been very few bright spots for Detroit in a few decades really but this is one thing they wear as a badge of honour. Too long have the people of Detroit been considered poor and criminal, the dregs of American society. Now they have proven that at least the future is very bright and that they can once again be at the top,” said Scrape TV American analyst Dave Davidson. “True they won’t be captains of industry but the way things have been going there won’t be a whole lot of need for that. They will need hot dog vendors at Lions games though and in that area the children of Detroit will flourish.”
Detroit children also ranked at the top for geography and history. Memphis took the title for the poorest handwriting.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent
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