U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > U.S.A. > SOUTH CAROLINA POLICE ON ALERT FOR ZOMBIE JAMES BROWN
SOUTH CAROLINA POLICE ON ALERT FOR ZOMBIE JAMES BROWN
March 13 2010
Columbia, SC – When James Brown died in 2006, a piece of musical history also died with him. Brown’s contribution to the American musical landscape is undeniable. It had such a profound impact not only on future musicians but on the culture of the United
States in general that his loss was a deep, deep loss even if his best years were long behind him. Brown’s life was of course not without controversy, some of which threatened to undo his legendary status, but ultimately Brown died as he lived, as the Godfather of Soul.
In death, however, the drama of his life seemed to follow. Family squabbles have meant that Brown’s remains have rested in a temporary site for the last three years while his multiple offspring debate his ultimate resting place, as well as concerns over his manner of death and serious issues concerning his will. Such conditions are hardly fitting for one of the most revered musicians in the history of the medium, though perhaps such a fate was inevitable considering the way he lived his life. However, one person that apparently isn’t taking such treatment lying down anymore is the Godfather himself who according to family members is now missing from his temporary crypt, prompting police to issue a state wide bulletin for the singer and his presumably reanimated remains.
“My daddy's body has disappeared. I have no clue where it was taken, but I need to know where. I'm convinced his death was suspicious and I want the people responsible brought to justice. The only way to do that is to exhume his body and have an autopsy. I cannot understand why one was never conducted,” said Brown’s illegitimate daughter LaRhonda Pettit. “'It was common knowledge that my daddy took illegal drugs. He was also hooked on various prescription painkillers. At the very least there were enablers who helped cause his death.”
It’s not clear if such extreme drug use has caused this apparent return from the grave, or if some other factor such as military chemicals or passing comets spreading radiation might have prompted this ghoulish return to the spotlight.
“This could either be one of the best things to happen to popular music, or a harbinger of one of the worst disasters to ever afflict humanity. Fiction is rife with stories of returns from the dead and virtually every single one ends up in disaster so if Brown has risen from the grave and is currently roaming around South Carolina, odds are this will end up badly,” said Scrape TV Apocalypse analyst Seth Morris.“I mean it would be great if he could come back as the old James Brown and lay down some new tracks, but after being dead for so long, and considering the nature of many of the living dead in movies, I think that would be very unlikely. Hopefully he will be caught before he can cause any serious damage and spark the end of humanity as we know it.”
Brown’s last album was released in 2002, to tepid reviews and public reception, something that reportedly bothered the singer before his death.
“What’s very much a concern is that this isn’t an aberration, but part of a larger trend. Artists tend to live life a little more passionately and so some of that may persist beyond death, which could result in reanimation being isolated to only certain individuals with serious drug problems and great passion for life, which means that people like Brittany Murphy and Corey Haim could be on the way back already, providing the latter didn’t become a vampire,” continued Morris. “On the other hand if Brown is simply a kind of Typhoid Mary for zombies we could be looking at a disaster on a much larger scale that, frankly, could make one consider whether or not his musical legacy was worth all the death and destruction that a zombie James Brown could cause.”
Reportedly police officials in the Bahamas have been on high alert for weeks after reports of sightings of Anna Nicole Smith, who died in 2007, around the country.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent
NEWS > U.S.A. > SOUTH CAROLINA POLICE ON ALERT FOR ZOMBIE JAMES BROWN
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/usa/pages-4/South-Carolina-police-on-alert-for-Zombie-James-Brown-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://bit.ly/9Q060V |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
