AK-47’S A SOUND INVESTMENT FOR FLORIDA BANKERS
September 19 2011
Sarasota, FL – The Kalashnikov, or AK-47, is perhaps the greatest gun ever created. It doesn’t gain that reputation because of its accuracy or fire rate or even looks. The AK-47 has gained its reputation because of its durability and ubiquity throughout the world. Even more than sixty years after it was first produced, the Ak-47 is still the most widely used gun in the world, which alone earns it its much deserved reputation.
The weapon of choice for poorer armies, militias, rebels, and criminals, the Kalashnikov is in play in every country in the world. Because of that it has had a greater impact, a political one, shaping the face of entire nations and impacting the politics of those countries. The AK-47 is a weapon of change, for good or ill, throughout the world.
The one country where the gun hasn’t really taken off is the most gun-friendly nation in the world, the United States. However, a Sarasota bank is seeking to change that by offering the weapon for free to businesses opening a new account, marking, perhaps, the start of a real revolution in weaponry and banking throughout the United States.
“Keep in mind we are not simply handing out AK-47 assault rifles to anyone who opens an account with us,” the company, MerchantService.com, said in a statement. “Instead, you will receive a voucher that can be used towards the purchase of a firearm at any reputable gun shop where you must go through the proper background checks and waiting period that the law requires.”
The online bank began offering the guns early last week. It’s not yet clear how many people have taken them up on the opportunity but the company does have high hopes for the weapon, and their banking.
“Banks have often given out guns as promotional items in the past and this is no different. Yes, it’s a different gun, but the process if no different. The only real change here is that this is a fully automatic weapon versus handguns and rifles. This one is also much easier to find replacement parts for and the strip down by yourself,” said a spokesperson for the company. “We always felt that was a major issue for other banking services which offered firearms. They were always offering partial automatics and guns with complex parts. This weapon fixes that. It has proven itself a reliable and durable gun all over the world and easy for anyone to use, even ordinary businesses. That is why we are, ahem, banking on it.”
The bank will offer a variety of weapon options depending on the size of the account being opened.
“At first glance it would not seem wise to offer guns at a bank. I mean they offer voucher so that’s a little safer, but the whole scheme seems a little backwards. Of course if it makes people safer that’s all that really matters. Ultimately the banks wants these stores to remain open and automatic weapons will help with that,” said Scrape TV Business analyst Ken Green. “The obvious concern is what is next. I mean this bank has started to offer AK’s so what will the next bank offer? Grenades? Fissile material? As we saw with the economic crisis, money people will do whatever they need to do to draw in new clients and sometimes that can be dangerous, especially when those clients are armed.”
Another Florida bank has reportedly started offering landmines with new checking accounts, for a limited time.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent