U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > U.S.A. > DENVER ON ALERT AS MOST DANGEROUS BIRD IN THE WORLD ESCAPES FROM ZOO
DENVER ON ALERT AS MOST DANGEROUS BIRD IN THE WORLD ESCAPES FROM ZOO
July 19 2011
Denver, CO – Few will debate that human beings are the most successful species to ever inhabit planet earth. True, many species have lived a lot longer and in pure evolutionary terms have had more success, but human beings have done things none
of those species has been able to accomplish. Our ability to spread to virtually all areas of the planet and to dominate all other species that live in those areas has vaulted us to the top spot, the apex of apex predators.
Our strength does not individually however, like saw the crocodile or lion, but comes as a result of our complex interactions with other members of our species. Our success has been as result of our ability to collaborate with other members of our species, to engage in discussion, and to motivate large groups of strangers to work towards a common goal. Collaboration is our success. Because of that, our dominance over the rest of the planet can be a little deceptive. We have grown to be large animals with significant strength, but at levels still far below many other species on the planet. In that respect, the success of our species has been a mild failure of the individual which leaves us vulnerable when alone. That is something very much on the mind of the residents of Denver today after the escape of a Cassowary, perhaps the most dangerous bird on the planet, from the local zoo which is now stalking the streets of the Mile High city.
“Cassowaries are a very dangerous species of bird. They are large, heavy birds with razor claws and a really bad attitude. They can run very quickly, up to 30 miles per hour, and are more than willing to attack anything in their path,” said a spokesperson for the zoo. “They are the closest thing we have to a Velociraptor in the modern world. Normally we would say that an animal will be more scared of you than you of it, but that isn’t the case here. Stay indoors, stay in your cars. If you see this bird, pray.”
Police have been deployed throughout the city with orders to shoot on sight.
“We have not had any confirmed sightings of the bird as yet, nor have we had any reports of injury or death. We hope that this will remain the case but all our experts have told us that if this animal decides to cause problems there is little we will be able to do but react,” said a spokesperson for the Denver police. “We are asking anyone who has access to a firearm, legal access, to please arm themselves. We have circulated a picture of the suspect on our website and we ask that if you encounter this creature to please shoot it dead. It is a risk to the safety and security of our city and of our children. Please think of the children.”
It’s not yet clear how the bird escaped from its cage but at least three zoo workers have been hospitalized with unknown injuries.
“This is a bird and its colourful and so people will be drawn to it, but make no mistake. It is a dangerous and aggressive animal which is more than capable of wreaking havoc. The people of Denver would do well to be very cautious. Frankly, I would recommend that people even stay home from work. Being inside doesn’t guarantee safety, but at least it will delay the bird as it tries to break down you door,” said Scrape TV Zoology analyst Cambridge Walker. “The people of Denver are right to be afraid and they are truly under threat until this bird is captured or killed. Probably the latter, I doubt the entire Denver police force will have the strength to take down this bird. Stay safe Denver, stay safe.”
A poll of Denver residents confirmed that most of them are scared.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent
NEWS > U.S.A. > DENVER ON ALERT AS MOST DANGEROUS BIRD IN THE WORLD ESCAPES FROM ZOO
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/usa/pages-6/Denver-on-alert-as-most-dangerous-bird-in-the-world-escapes-from-zoo-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://goo.gl/2EewP |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
