U.S.A.
Everyone Else
Health
Science
Business
Technology
Sports
Video Games
Entertainment
Future
Humour
NEWS > U.S.A. > FERAL CHICKENS TAKING OVER NEW ORLEANS
FERAL CHICKENS TAKING OVER NEW ORLEANS
April 13 2011
New Orleans, LA – There is no predicting the occurrence nor the outcome of any disaster. No mathematical model can provide us with a clear understanding of what will happen in the long term. Not even seers, supposedly seeing far into the future, are 
able to accurately predict what exactly will happen after a major event. The reason for that is simple; variables. Variables are by their nature unpredictable and in any complex system there are more variables than known factors, resulting in a kind of anarchic response to any significant happening.
For example after millions of years of dominance on the planet, no dinosaur scientist could have predicted that not only would a massive asteroid slam into the planet and destroy his species, but that that event would eventually lead to iPods and Lady Gaga, things no dinosaur could ever have understood. The variables at play in that event, easily the most important in our planet’s history, show how variables can wreak havoc with any system and result in entirely unpredictable results. Such a phenomenon is now on display in New Orleans nearly six years after Hurricane Katrina devastated the city. While models certainly predicted civil strife, decreased populations, and increase in crime in the wake 
of that event, no model predicted the rise of a new menace across the city, one that has started to further threaten the human population, in the form of monstrous feral chickens.
“We don’t have stray dogs or cats anymore, we have stray chickens. They are everywhere, nesting all over the place and crowing all the time. They are all over the city and have become a serious health and safety hazard,” said a city spokesperson. “They carry disease and because they have become feral have become aggressive, a particular problem with young children who are often drawn to them. Catching them has also been difficult, usually requiring two or three police officers to catch a single bird which is putting a strain on city resources. However we have made strides in recent months and that has let us know that there is hope, that the people of New Orleans will once again be able to go home.”
There are no official estimates on the number of chickens in the city but second hand reports would put the numbers in the thousands.
“People took their pets with them but they left farm animals when the flood came. 
Chickens breed very rapidly and there was already a significant population throughout the city which has led to this current population,” said an SPCA spokesperson. “They have proliferated across the city and are no embedded in virtually all corners. They have done especially well in areas that are still without human populations, but they have started to move into human areas in significant numbers likely in search of food and warmth. As yet we have no robust plan to deal with the chickens and not nearly enough funding to get a plan up and running.”
Officials have asked residents to stop feeding the chickens in an effort to keep them from urban populations.
“Unfortunately this is likely to become a serious problem, much more serious as time
goes on. Chickens have lived with humans for thousands of years and have no fear of us, which will make them bold and aggressive. As their populations increase that is only going to cause more problems for residents,” said Scrape TV Zoology analyst Cambridge Walker. “Most people think of chickens as friendly and funny, but roosters have long talons and are usually very aggressive. Unfortunately our familiarity with them makes people think they are approachable, but these animals are feral which in many ways makes them more dangerous than regular wild animals, which will likely result in a lot of injury to the human population. With their breeding capacity, upwards of 300 eggs a year, something we have bred them to do, it will not be long until the populations become uncontrollable and possibly push humans out of New Orleans permanently, something even a hurricane could not do.”
Officials are recommending that residents stay clear of a certain area in the north of the city which has colloquially become known as Rooster Town.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent
NEWS > U.S.A. > FERAL CHICKENS TAKING OVER NEW ORLEANS
LINK IT! http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/usa/pages-6/Feral-chickens-taking-over-New-Orleans-Scrape-TV-The-World-on-your-side.html |
TWEET IT! http://tinyurl.com/3cgjnkl |
BOOKMARK IT!  
|
|---|
Scrape Store
