BEN BERNANKE REFUSES TO SAY EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE WHEN IT CLEARLY ISN’T
July 17 2012
Washington, D.C. – When in the midst of the major economic meltdown there is one person above all that you want to have a positive and healthy outlook on things. That person is not the leader of the nation nor is the biggest celebrity. That person is the one responsible for the money, the chief banker.
In the United States, the epicentre of the most recent global meltdown, that lead banker is Ben Bernanke who has overseen the Federal Reserve throughout the meltdown and through until today. As he has been from the beginning, Bernanke is not at all optimistic about the state of things, just flat out refusing to be even remotely positive about anything, even feigning optimism when so many Americans just need a little bit of hope.
“We are looking very carefully at the economy, trying to judge whether or not the loss of momentum we’ve seen recently is enduring, and whether or not the economy is likely to continue to make progress,” said Bernanke. “Progress in reducing the unemployment rate seems likely to be frustratingly slow.”
When asked if he saw anything positive in the future Bernanke just furrowed his brow and put on a frowny face.
Bernanke has been, along with the President, the principle target of criticism for not making the economy 100 percent better.
“At the very least we are getting the truth from Bernanke and that is very rare in Washington. It’s really hard the get honest answers out of these guys most of the time so to hear the truth come out of Bernanke’s mouth, or at least his version of the truth, is refreshing,” said Scrape TV Economic analyst Michael Santino. “Sure he is taking the doom and gloom side of all of this and just about everything he says is negative but at least he is telling it as he sees it which is nice and unique and refreshing to be sure. It would be nice if he said something nice once in a while but at least he isn’t lying to the American people.”
Bernanke gave no indication that he would ever be hopeful that things could change for the better anytime soon or possibly ever.
Bernanke also apparently complained that his breakfast eggs were a little runny despite getting a double yolk. He also felt the toast was a little underdone.
“Bernanke just isn’t the kind of guy to be overly optimistic about things which is probably a good attribute to have in a guy holding all the money, responsible for all the cash. You want him to be a little conservative and dour about things. Happy go lucky guys tend to not do so well as bankers, I’ve found,” continued Santino. “That said, he could lighten up a little bit. Just a little. He doesn’t need to be perky or anything but he doesn’t need to be so dark and dreary all the time. Emo doesn’t play well and heck, that kind of attitude could be what’s causing the problem. A little sunshine on the day never hurt anyone and can sometimes make everything just fine, make all the problems just go away and that is something the American people do need right now, Ben.”
Bernanke wore all black today, just as he does most days.
Mike Michaels, American Correspondent