TOP STORIES

MADONNA FALLS OFF STAGE AT AWARDS SHOW AND DOESN’T BREAK A HIP THIS TIME

 

LIFE SUPPORT DIVIDED AS TO WHETHER OR NOT TO MAINTAIN JOAN RIVERS MUCH LONGER
HILLARY CLINTON PRESIDENCY BID MAY RELY ON SUCCESS OF FAILURE OR NEW YOUNG ADULT NOVEL
ISRAEL ADMITS PEACE TALKS BROKE DOWN IN PART BECAUSE SOMEONE REFUSED TO SHOWER
IOWA MAN SPENDS NIGHT RESEARCHING CONFLICT IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC IN EFFORT TO IMPRESS CO-WORKERS AT LUNCH

NEWS

SOLDIERS KILLED IN UKRAINE WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU FIGHT IN A WAR

DUTCH EXPERTS EXAMINE MH17 CRASH VICTIMS TO DISCOVER EXACTLY WHAT THEY THOUGHT

ISRAEL GOES AHEAD WITH GAZA CEASEFIRE, KINDA

EU OFFICIALS REACH A VERY BASIC AGREEMENT ON POSSIBLE RUSSIAN SANCTIONS

NEWS

OBAMA READY TO FINALLY BOMB SYRIA WHICH HE HAS WANTED TO DO FOR SO LONG

FIGHTING IN GAZA CALMS DOWN A LITTLE WHICH IS SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT

UN SAYS ISRAEL MAY HAVE COMMITTED WAR CRIMES IN GAZA BUT OF COURSE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

WHO SAYS EBOLA OUTBREAK VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED, THAT THEY HAVE VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED IT, THEY JUST HAVE NO IDEA NOW

NEWS

U.S. FORCES FINALLY START KILLING ALL BAD GUYS IN SYRIA

ISRAEL ADMITS ROCKET ATTACKS MAKING PEACE TALKS A LITTLE DIFFICULT

ISRAEL GIVES A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING BEFORE DESTROYING APARTMENT BUILDING AND OTHER STUFF

ON THE AIR

CUP OF JOE
(NOW PLAYING)

BRIAN WILLIAMS TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF TO THINK OF NEW STORIES
SONY FINALLY COMES TO THE REALISATION THAT THEY JUST CAN’T MAKE GOOD SPIDER-MAN MOVIES
JON STEWART DITCHING THE DAILY SHOW AFTER A MERE 16 YEARS
BRIAN WILLIAMS STEPS DOWN AMID CONTROVERSY AND WILL COMBAT ISIS AND TRAVEL TO MARS DURING TIME OFF
BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN NEARLY DIES JUST LIKE HER MOTHER WHICH FRANKLY EVERYONE SAW COMING
IRANIAN LEADER WILLING TO ACCEPT JUST ABOUT ANY NUCLEAR DEAL NOW
BRUCE JENNER KILLS WOMAN WITH CAR IN EFFORT TO STEAL HER FEMININITY
AARON RODGERS TO ENJOY HIS MVP TROPHY WHILE SITTING HOME ALONE SUPER BOWL SUNDAY
ONE OF THE MANY, MANY UKRAINIAN REBEL GROUPS NOT INTERESTED IN PEACE AT ALL
NIGERIA REJECTS ALL AID IN FIGHT AGAINST BOKO HARAM BECAUSE IT’S ALL GOOD THERE
SAUDI ARABIAN KING DIES PEACFULLY WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD
BILL BELICHICK MAKES IT CLEAR HE IS NOW AN EXPERT ON HANDLING BALLS OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES
AIRASIA CRASH NOT DUE TO TERRORISM WHICH IS NICE TO HEAR