TOP STORIES

MARVEL GIVES NERDS EVEN MORE OF EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT

 

LIFE SUPPORT DIVIDED AS TO WHETHER OR NOT TO MAINTAIN JOAN RIVERS MUCH LONGER
HILLARY CLINTON PRESIDENCY BID MAY RELY ON SUCCESS OF FAILURE OR NEW YOUNG ADULT NOVEL
ISRAEL ADMITS PEACE TALKS BROKE DOWN IN PART BECAUSE SOMEONE REFUSED TO SHOWER
IOWA MAN SPENDS NIGHT RESEARCHING CONFLICT IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC IN EFFORT TO IMPRESS CO-WORKERS AT LUNCH

NEWS

SOLDIERS KILLED IN UKRAINE WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU FIGHT IN A WAR

DUTCH EXPERTS EXAMINE MH17 CRASH VICTIMS TO DISCOVER EXACTLY WHAT THEY THOUGHT

ISRAEL GOES AHEAD WITH GAZA CEASEFIRE, KINDA

EU OFFICIALS REACH A VERY BASIC AGREEMENT ON POSSIBLE RUSSIAN SANCTIONS

NEWS

OBAMA READY TO FINALLY BOMB SYRIA WHICH HE HAS WANTED TO DO FOR SO LONG

FIGHTING IN GAZA CALMS DOWN A LITTLE WHICH IS SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT

UN SAYS ISRAEL MAY HAVE COMMITTED WAR CRIMES IN GAZA BUT OF COURSE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

WHO SAYS EBOLA OUTBREAK VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED, THAT THEY HAVE VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED IT, THEY JUST HAVE NO IDEA NOW

NEWS

U.S. FORCES FINALLY START KILLING ALL BAD GUYS IN SYRIA

ISRAEL ADMITS ROCKET ATTACKS MAKING PEACE TALKS A LITTLE DIFFICULT

ISRAEL GIVES A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING BEFORE DESTROYING APARTMENT BUILDING AND OTHER STUFF

ON THE AIR

CUP OF JOE
(NOW PLAYING)

ZAMBIAN PRESIDENT JUST UPS AND DIES, JUST LIKE THAT
SECOND SHOOTING VICTIM IN WASHINGTON DIES AS A RESULT OF BEING SHOT
SOUTH AFRICAN POLICE ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR KILLER OF SOCCER STAR
SOUTH KOREAN OFFICIALS SEEKING DEATH PENALTY FOR FERRY CAPTAIN BECAUSE, WELL, OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE
THOSE UPPITY KURDS REPEL ISIL IN KOBANE FOR YET ANOTHER DAY
PRO-WESTERN PARTIES WIN JUST ABOUT ALL OF UKRAINE EXCEPT, WELL, WE ALL KNOW WHERE
KURDISH FIGHTERS REGAIN GROUND THEY LOST AND WILL PROBABLY LOSE AGAIN IN FIGHT FOR KOBANE
DOCTORS PROMISE TO HAVE MILLIONS OF EBOLA VACCINES READY EVENTUALLY
NOW NEW YORK HAS EBOLA, WELL NOT REALLY, JUST ONE GUY BUT STILL
OFFICIALS DETERMINE OTTAWA SHOOTING HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING ELSE AT ALL, IT WAS JUST A CRAZY DUDE
SYRIAN GOVERNMENT STILL MOSTLY WORRIED ABOUT THOSE DARNED REBELS, IT SEEMS
SWEDEN, OF ALL COUNTRIES, THREATENS TO USE FORCE TO HAVE MYSTERY SUB SURFACE
RENEE ZELLWEGER SHOWS UP LOOKING EVEN WEIRDER THAN USUAL