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SYRIA GETTING READY TO STRIKE ISRAEL IF THEY STRIKE FIRST AND IF THEY SEE AN OPPORTUNITY AND STUFF

Jerusalem, Israel – It is possible that in the next few days or weeks that the war in Syria will expand outwards and engulf the region. That is the nightmare scenario for everyone who has watched this thing unfold and it appears to be closer than ever.
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ANGELA MERKEL AND POPE FRANCIS MEET TO CONSOLIDATE POWER IN EUROPE

NASA TRIES TO EXPLAIN MASSIVE EXPLOSION ON THE MOON AS A METEOR STRIKE

 

CHICAGO MAN SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED IN IRS AS SCANDAL CONTINUES TO UNFOLD

IRS JUST HOPING THAT CURRENT SCANDAL DOESN’T HURT THEIR REPUTATION WITH ORDINARY AMERICANS

OBAMA STILL USING BENGHAZI TO COVER UP FOLLOWING JUSTIN BIEBER ON WORLD TOUR

MOTLEY CRUE DISAPPOINTED ABOUT NOT WINNING A SINGLE BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARD LAST NIGHT

WHITE HOUSE GETTING READY TO REVEAL THEY HAVE BEEN SPYING ON EVERYONE IN AMERICA ALL ALONG
MICROSOFT WARNS PEOPLE TO NOT GET TOO EXCITED ABOUT NEW SYSTEM BECAUSE IT WILL TO SUCK FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS AT LEAST
MILLIONS OF PALESTINIANS WAKE UP IN JORDAN FOLLOWING FRENZIED LATE-NIGHT ISRAELI BUILDING PROJECT
DOZENS INJURED IN NEW YORK AFTER TWO TRAINS DECIDE THERE JUST ISN’T A POINT TO LIFE ANYMORE
MILLIONS ACROSS FRANCE ABANDON THEIR SPOUSES AS COUNTRY TRANSITIONS TO ALL-GAY MARRIAGE

NEWS

RUSSIA SENDS MODERN WEAPONS TO SYRIA TO FINALLY FINISH THIS STUPID WAR

INVESTIGATORS SAY FOR REALLY NO GOOD REASON AT ALL THAT MADELEINE MCCANN MAY STILL BE ALIVE

FRANCE SOMEHOW COLLECTS MORE MONEY IN TAXES THAN EXISTS IN THE COUNTRY

NIGERIA BEGINS RAIDS ON BOKO HARAM CAMPS WHICH WON’T REALLY ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING

 

NEWS

EVERYONE BUT THE PEOPLE WHO COULD CAUSE TROUBLE KNEW ABOUT IRS TARGETING MONTHS AGO

REPUBLICANS HAVE NO PROBLEM LETTING TED CRUZ RUN FOR PRESIDENT NO MATTER WHERE HE WAS BORN

ANGELINA JOLIE HAS BOTH BREASTS REMOVED TO PREVENT CANCER, AND LOSE A COUPLE MORE POUNDS

CHINA CONDUCTS TEST OF ANTI-SATELLITE MISSILE WHICH PRESUMABLY WILL ONLY DESTROY SATELLITES

 

NEWS

SYRIAN REFUGEES STARTING TO GET A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL THE UN ADMITS

SYRIAN ARMY STORMS REBEL STRONGHOLD IN INITIATIVE THAT PROBABLY WON’T CHANGE ANYTHING

JOHN KERRY URGES NIGERIAN RESTRAINT IN BOKO HARAM BATTLE WHICH IS EASY FOR HIM TO SAY

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CUP OF JOE
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NEWS BRIEFS
YAHOO! TO BUY AND RUIN TUMBLR FOR $1.1 BILLION
JOB FAIR FOR CONS SHUT DOWN AFTER PEOPLE SHOW UP LOOKING FOR WORK
MIDWEST TORNADOES TURN OUT TO NOT BE ALL THAT BAD AFTER ALL
OBAMA SAYS SUBTRACTION IS HARDER THAN ADDITON WHICH EXPLAINS BENGHAZI, WAIT, NO IT DOESN’T
REDSKINS FANS FORCED TO BUY GIFTS FOR THEIR GOD ROBERT GRIFFIN III FROM HIS WEDDING REGISTRY
CHAD JOHNSON ARRESTED ON, WHATEVER, HE DID LOTS OF THINGS WRONG
BILLBOARD MUSIC AWARD WINNERS, AHH, NO ONE CARES REALLY
CLEARLY EVERYONE HAS GIVEN UP ON THE X FACTOR AFTER SIGNING KELLY ROWLAND AND PAULINA RUBIO
STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS REALLY DOESN’T DO THAT WELL AT BOX OFFICE EXCEPT WITH NERDS
CHRIS BROWN TURNS TO POLICE INSTEAD OF HIS FISTS FOR HELP WITH DEATH THREAT
GOOGLE DEFENDS TAX EVASION TECHNIQUES BECAUSE OF COURSE THEY DO
NORTH KOREA SHOOTS EVEN MORE MISSILES LIKE THE TOUGH GUYS THEY ARE
DENMARK WINS EUROVISION CONTEST IN THING THAT SEEMS IMPORTANT TO EUROPEANS