MISSILE DEFENSE PLAN CAUSES GERMANS TO POUR OVER POLISH BORDER

Warsaw, Poland – The announcement last week of the plan for the United States to install ten interceptor missiles in Poland has caused tense nerves throughout the region. Russia in particular has been rattling its sabres, fearing that this is the first step in a new version of the cold war; The Ukraine has begun a petition to allow a similar system in its borders; and rather unexpectedly, German tourists have begun pouring over the Polish border, bringing back very potent memories for the Polish people.

AARP SUED FOR AGE DISCRIMINATION

Lansing, MI – A 63 year old Michigan woman has filed a lawsuit against the American Association of Retired Persons claiming age discrimination. Bonita Brady claims she has been passed over for at least nine job opportunities since joining the organization. She is claiming $25,000 in damages.

DSI SNAGS LICENSE TO PRODUCE WELCOME BACK KOTTER GAME

MILEY CYRUS TO MAKE A SPLASH IN TEEN PLAYBOY

GREENPEACE PETITIONS GOVERNMENTS TO OPEN UP GRAVES

JOHN EDWARDS ADMITS AFFAIR WASN’T ALL THAT GOOD ANYWAY

HEATH LEDGER FOUND ALIVE AND WELL IN CALIFORNIA

U.S. CLAIMS RUSSIA INVADED GEORGIA TO GAIN CONTROL OF BIGFOOT

CHINESE OFFICIALS TO COUNTER SPANISH RACISM WITH SOMBREROS, BURRITOS

U.S. AND POLAND AGREE ON MISSILES FOR SAUSAGES PACT

AFTER TEXAS CHUPUCABRA SIGHTING, AMERICANS BRACING FOR MONSTER INVASION

FEMA CONFIRMS THAT WEALTHY RESIDENTS OUT OF THE WAY OF HURRICANE FAY

BUSH ON GEORGIA: NOT THE SAME AS IRAQ BECAUSE WE ARE AMERICA