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U.S. FORCES FINALLY START KILLING ALL BAD GUYS IN SYRIA

Damascus, Syria – A little over a year ago the United States was getting ready, moving forces and everything, towards Syria, getting ready to strike against the government and end the long civil war raging there. Then all that stopped and they came up with a much better solution, they thought, and no strikes were had at all.

TOP STORIES

MH17 INVESTIGATORS FINALLY GET TO WORK FINDING OUT WHAT THEY ALREADY KNOW

 

POLICE OFFICIALS IN ALABAMA POINT OUT THEY HAVE NOT KILLED AN UNARMED BLACK TEEN IN YEARS NOW
HILLARY CLINTON PRESIDENCY BID MAY RELY ON SUCCESS OF FAILURE OR NEW YOUNG ADULT NOVEL
ISRAEL ADMITS PEACE TALKS BROKE DOWN IN PART BECAUSE SOMEONE REFUSED TO SHOWER
IOWA MAN SPENDS NIGHT RESEARCHING CONFLICT IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC IN EFFORT TO IMPRESS CO-WORKERS AT LUNCH

NEWS

SOLDIERS KILLED IN UKRAINE WHICH IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN YOU FIGHT IN A WAR

DUTCH EXPERTS EXAMINE MH17 CRASH VICTIMS TO DISCOVER EXACTLY WHAT THEY THOUGHT

ISRAEL GOES AHEAD WITH GAZA CEASEFIRE, KINDA

EU OFFICIALS REACH A VERY BASIC AGREEMENT ON POSSIBLE RUSSIAN SANCTIONS

NEWS

OBAMA READY TO FINALLY BOMB SYRIA WHICH HE HAS WANTED TO DO FOR SO LONG

FIGHTING IN GAZA CALMS DOWN A LITTLE WHICH IS SOMETHING PEOPLE CAN BE HAPPY ABOUT

UN SAYS ISRAEL MAY HAVE COMMITTED WAR CRIMES IN GAZA BUT OF COURSE WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

WHO SAYS EBOLA OUTBREAK VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED, THAT THEY HAVE VASTLY UNDERESTIMATED IT, THEY JUST HAVE NO IDEA NOW

NEWS

IRAQI GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING PRETTY EFFECTIVE AGAINST INSURGENTS

ISRAEL ADMITS ROCKET ATTACKS MAKING PEACE TALKS A LITTLE DIFFICULT

ISRAEL GIVES A LITTLE BIT OF WARNING BEFORE DESTROYING APARTMENT BUILDING AND OTHER STUFF

ON THE AIR

CUP OF JOE
(NOW PLAYING)

IRAQ MANAGES TO HALT IS ADVANCES IN ONE, LONE TOWN AND IS VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT
PROTESTERS IN HONG KONG STILL THINK THEY CAN GET DEMOCRACY FROM CHINA
RESCUERS NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR JAPANESE VOLCANO NO MATTER HOW MANY BODIES ARE LEFT
THE NEW GUY IN AFGHANISTAN WASTES NO TIME IN SIGNING COUNTRY OVER TO THE AMERICANS
OBAMA ADMITS THE ISIL IS WAY TOUGHER THAN HE THOUGHT THEY COULD BE
DENZEL WASHINGTON EQUALIZES THE BOX OFFICE
GEORGE CLOONEY FINALLY MAKES AN HONEST WOMAN OF SOMEONE
AL-NUSRA FRONT THREATENS TO DO BAD THINGS TO PEOPLE BUT ONLY BECAUSE OF AIR STRIKES
SURPRISE VOLCANO DOES END UP KILLING PEOPLE IN JAPAN
HONG KONG DEMOCRACY PROTESTS TURN VIOLENT WHICH ALWAYS HAPPENS WITH CHINA
POLICE OFFICER SHOT IN FERGUSON SO NOW THINGS ARE FINALLY EVEN
APPLE SORRY FOR UPDATE BUG BUT NOTHING ELSE
ICC TO PROBE POSSIBLE, CHECK THAT, PROBABLE WAR CRIMES IN CENTRAL AFRICAN REPUBLIC